


Finding the real Shawn Spencer

by islashlove



Category: Psych
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:04:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 37,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islashlove/pseuds/islashlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn returns to Santa Barbara to do a job. This job will deal with a certain Detective Lassiter. When someone for Shawn past, kidnaps Lassiter, can Shawn find him in time or will their love end even before it starts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is from Psych. 
> 
> Warning: This is a slash story which means same sex relationships. Inside there will be talk of rape, child abuse, sex slavery, drug abuse and domestic abuse. If you don't like reading any of these type of stories, please click your back button now. I have given you fair warning.
> 
> Author's Notes: This is a slash story. In the end Shawn will be with Lassiter, Gus with Jules and Henry with Chief Vick. There might be a few references to the first two seasons as they are the only ones I've seen.

The wind wrapped itself tightly around the lone rider, as he sped down the long, winding road on his motor bike. At this time of night there is hardly any other traffic and this is just the way he likes it. It gave him the freedom of the open road. 

Just as he pulls up at top of the hill, it started to rain. Removing his helmet, he allows the rain to wash over him; slowly washing away the heat and sweat from the ride, as well as some of the stress of the last few months. He slowly takes in a deep breath as he looks down at the lights of the city below. A sad little smile forms on his face as the memory of the day that he left his home town flashes in his mind like a movie.

"Shawn, I cannot believe you are being this stupid as to throw your life away by going on a road trip, on this death trap, instead of going to the police academy or at least college with Gus," his father, Henry Spencer yelled at him.

"Dad, I've got to go. I'm not right for the police force just because you think I am, and..., and I'll never survive college.” A very young Shawn Spencer yelled back at his dad, not just out of anger, but also so his dad could hear him over the raging storm. “Gus will understand, I've just got to get out of here, I just have to.” Shawn's last words were lost as a big clap of thunder rolled across the darkening sky. 

Jumping onto his bike he put his helmet on. Looking back at his dad, seventeen year old Shawn felt a slight pain in his heart. He never thought that he would leave like this, but he need to go, he needed to run.... Run as far away as he could, away from his dad, away from his best friend, who he had just had the biggest fight with ever and away from the person who his father wanted him to be! He just needs to be free at the moment, and being here he just could not do it. As he rode off with tears in his eyes he whispers, "Sorry, Dad, I just have to."

A chilling breeze brings him out of his trip down memory lane. Taking another deep breath, he slips his helmet on once more. He needs to get going. He needs to find the place where he will be staying. He's not here for a visit, he's here for work and maybe he will find time to catch up with his dad. But what he hopes to really do is to catch up with Gus. But his main concern was to do his job no matter what.

What Shawn didn't know was that his job and personal life were about to come together in an unexpected way. All of the walls and barriers he had built up over the years to protect himself and those around him, and the masks he wore so no one could see the real him, were about to come crashing down around him, all because of one person; the only person who could get under the layers and find the real Shawn Spencer! And that person was one Detective Carlton Lassiter.


	2. Shawn's Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This chapter has Shawn being raped by both a man and a woman at a very young age. I also hinted that Shawn is on some sort of medication, to which I am planning on explaining, in later chapters. 

About an hour later the gentle rain has turned into a full blown storm. Shawn pulled up outside the apartment block which was going to be his home for the next few weeks. As he dismounted his bike, the doorman approached him. At the sound of the feet behind him Shawn quickly turned; his heart pounding in his chest as if it wanted to rip it apart and escape. But a quick glance told Shawn that the intruder was not a threat to him, in fact he couldn't help but put on a big smile at the sight that was before him.

The doorman was dressed in a dark red suit with black trimming around the cuffs and neck line. The black shoes, black top hat and black gloves complemented the suit perfectly and it really suited the older gentleman, who was probably in his late 50's or early 60's. On the front of the jacket was a gold name badge and in plain black print was the name 'James'.

"Good Evening, Sir," James said with a friendly smile on his face.

"Good evening, James, my name is Shawn Spencer and I am moving into apartment thirteen for a while." As Shawn was talking, he continued to unpack the few things he brought with him.

"Very well, Sir. We have been expecting you and all of your belongings which you had sent ahead arrived yesterday. As per instructions, they were placed into your apartment. Mr Spencer, if you would like..."

"I am not Mr Spencer," Shawn snapped, as he spun quickly around to face James. "I go by the name of Shawn. I have never been, nor will I ever go by the name of Mr. Spencer. That is my father’s name. Do you understand?"

“Yes, Sir, I mean... Shawn, I completely understand."

"I am so sorry, James, that was so unforgivable of me. I've just had a bad couple weeks and with the trip here, being a long one, I guess I am just tired. I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I am truly sorry."

"That is quite alright, Sir, err Shawn. I will arrange for your bike to be put into your parking spot and will there be anything else you will need this evening?"

"Not right now, but maybe later you could show me how you did that? I mean go back to being so professional after what I just did to you," Shawn said with a little bit of laughter in his voice. "Good night, James, I hope to see you again."

"Good night, Shawn." 

He watched Shawn enter to building and turn towards the lifts. James slowly shook his head and thought to himself, 'Well that's a first, they never apologise, ever; I guess the rumours about him are true; he really is different than all the others'. And with that he returned to the job of putting the bike away.

Shawn opened the door and entered the small apartment. He was just about asleep on his feet, so he made his way straight to the bedroom. He lay down on the bed but as soon as his head hit the pillow, his work phone starts ringing. Groaning, he pulled it out of his pocket. He didn't need to check the caller ID as only one person ever calls on that phone and that is his boss. Once again he started to think about just how he might be able to get out of his contract with this man.

"Shawn here...Yes, I've just gotten in...No, no, I'm fine, just tired...Yes I will...Once I wake up in the morning...Ok, bye."

After hanging up the phone, Shawn slowly drifted off to sleep, hoping with all his will that tonight he wouldn’t dream because when he dreams he only sees the bad, never the good.

"No, stop, please stop it, please..." 

Shawn begged as the man, once again had his way with him, but this time it was different than last one. This time, there is a woman sitting down on the couch watching them, her eyes glistening at the sight, as if it were turning her on. In return it seemed to make the man want to hurt him more. 

For the past five years this man had been gentle and tender with Shawn, teaching him and showing him what to do so that Shawn enjoyed what he did to him. But now, Shawn was scared. Scared of what was happening and he just wanted it to stop. Suddenly Shawn felt a hot burning sensation inside of him, making him gasps and smile at the same time, for he knew that this meant that it was all over now and he will be able to go home soon.

"My turn, now," she exclaimed, as she grabbed Shawn by his shoulders, turning him over.

Climbing on top of him, she started to kiss him hard on the mouth, forcing it to open, and the next thing he knew her tongue was inside. Her hands were everywhere over his body, and he moaned as she placed them on his manhood, moving them up and down. He slowly became hard, then he was inside her and she was sitting above him. He watched her as she moved up and down on him. He groaned because of the sensation he was getting from the friction she was causing, and he knew it was wrong, so very wrong, and that was starting to make him feel sick.

"Please stop," he begged her, which seemed to make her go harder on him. "Please, this is wrong, I'm... I'm only thirteen, please, please stop." just then he climaxed, and he couldn't stop the bad churning in his stomach and he starts to vomit...

Shawn suddenly woke up, covered in his own vomit, sweat and cum. He rolled over onto his back and sat up.

"Oh god, please no. I almost forgot about that, please, I beg of you, if you really exist, don't let me start remembering those things just because I'm back here. I'm begging you, please, no."

Shawn sat on the side of the bed a little while longer, trying to calm his nerves, shaking his head a couple of times and wiping away the few tears that had escaped. He then cleaned up the mess and had a shower and organised his breakfast of pineapple jam on toast, a big glass pineapple juice and a cup of straight, hot black coffee. 

Now with food and his medication out of the way, he slowly looked around the apartment, taking everything in. The lay-out was basic; there were four rooms. The bathroom had a shower and bathtub, a wash basin and of course, a toilet. White tiles covered both the floor and walls. The bedroom contained a single bed and a wardrobe. In one corner, hidden behind the door, was a filing cabinet and in the lounge room there was a table with one chair. The couch was placed in front of the TV. In one corner there was the kitchen with a fridge, and a counter going around it to separate it from the lounge room. The apartment was just the way he liked it, enough room for him, and him alone! There was no room in his place for anyone else, just the same as in his life and heart. 

He sat down on the couch, and made the call he promised he would make late last night.

"Hello, boss, Shawn here...yeah, I'm all set up...Ok, give me the names...OK. One, Detective Lassiter...Two, Officers Thomson and Smith...What.....No, I can't see having any problems...So I start with these three first and then I will check out the rest...Right, I'll go now and check-in...In about two days...Ok, bye!"

With the call done, he hung up and picked up the file he had on Detective Carlton Lassiter. Placing the file in front of himself, he stared down at the photo. He could see that the older man was most likely to be Irish; he had a very strong jaw line that defined his face well and it housed the most crystal clear blue eyes that Shawn had ever seen. Those eyes seemed to be staring straight back up at him. They seem to be looking straight through him and into his soul; he suddenly had a shiver run down his spine. Shawn quickly turned the photo over and pushed the strange feeling aside, putting it down to last night’s dream. 

He leaned back into to couch and started to read the file and wondered just how he was ever going to get close enough to this man to be able to get his job done. He also wondered that if his photo has this strange affect on him what would happen when he meets the Detective face to face. All of a sudden he had the urge to get out of Santa Barbara as fast as he could.


	3. Oops, Henry saw Him.

Shawn spent the next few hours going through the files he had on the officers at the Santa Barbara Police Station. He put them into three piles; those not to worry about, possibilities and definitely needs more attention. Then he went over Detective Lassiter's file again, trying hard not to look at the photo of him.

Suddenly the alarm on his watch went off telling him he needed to take another dose of his medication and remembered that he had taken the last of it at breakfast. Shawn decided he would head out and kill three birds with one stone; he could get some food, his medication and start his job.

As he rode around looking at how much Santa Barbara had changed, he drove past his dad's house just to see if he was there and to his surprise Henry was just getting out of his old white pick-up truck. He sat there watching him unpack his groceries, take them inside, then come out for more. He was surprised at how much his dad had changed, but at the same, time stayed the same. Henry had always stood tall, with his broad shoulders straight. His hair was in the same cut, but had a lot more grey through it now and he had the same sturdy look on his face. But his dad's face itself had change. He was surprised at the wrinkles now covering his face. But the biggest change was his clothes. Instead of the police uniform he had always worn, he was in a bright, colourful Hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip-flops. Shawn sat on his bike taking all this in when he heard a shout and realised that his dad had seen him and was calling out his name.

"Shawn...SHAWN! Is that you?"

But Shawn was not ready to deal with his dad and without responding, took off. He headed for a place he knew nearby, where he would be able to get some food, his medication and allow his mind to process all that he had seen and to work out the mixed feelings that came up from seeing his dad again. He entered the cafe and sat down at the counter. His head had started to hurt from the lack of food and medication. It also had a swirling tornado going on inside of mixed emotions and the memories that bombard him.

"Hello! How may I help you?" asked the pretty young waitress.

"Well, hello to you too," Shawn replied with one of his trademark smiles, instantly turning on the charms that had gotten him right through his life. "And what would you suggest for a very hungry, young, single boy to eat from this fine place."

"Well, how about the sausages, bacon, eggs and toast, along with a glass of milk and a coffee?"

"Sounds great, I only had toast and jam for breakfast today, so a real home cooked breakfast will just hit the spot. You really know what a boy needs, but, if you can top it off with a glass of pineapple juice it would be even better."

"I can do that. So how do you like your eggs and coffee?”

"Well, the eggs, I love to have then soft, so I can dip my toast into the yolk and the coffee, straight and black."

“What, no sugar?”

“No. I'm sweet enough.”

"Ok, sweetie, that will be $12.65 and I'll bring it out as soon as it's ready." With another sweet smile she was gone. He watched her as she put his order in.

"Shawn is that really you?" 

Shawn jumped when he heard his dad's voice behind him. 

“Shawn...?” His dad’s voice held a hint of doubt as he said his name.

"Yeah, Dad, it's me.” He turned to look at his father. “Hi, how are you doing? Long time, no see, well I guess you have other places to be, so...bye," and with that said he turned back around as the waitress walked up with his order.

"Good morning, Mr Spencer. Do you want your usual today?"

"Thanks, Mary, I'll be in the booth over there." Even though he was talking to the waitress, he never took his eyes off Shawn. "Shawn, would you like to join me, please?" But even though it was put as a question, Shawn knew it was an order.

"Look, Dad, I just want to have something to eat and get going. I didn't mean for you to see me when I drove past. I really thought that you would have been out fishing or something, not at home and what is it with that shirt?" Shawn knew he was babbling, but that was his defence when he felt trapped.

Henry stared at his son, looking him over and noting the few changes in him and some of the things that had stayed the same. His voice was one of the things that had done both, although it was a bit deeper, you could not have missed that it belonged to Shawn and his vocabulary had increased, but his mouth was still going a hundred miles an hour. Physically he was taller and his body is a lot more defined. He had the same hair style, although it is more a mousy brown colour now, compared to the dark brown when he was a kid. But his eyes were just as green and expressive as always. You could also see that he was much older than the tender years of seventeen when he left, but you could easily mistake him as being about twenty-seven or twenty- eight even though he was ten years older.

"Dad... Hello, Dad! Are you there?" Shawn said waving his hand in front of his father’s face.

"What? Oh, Shawn, sorry; I guess I'm still in shock that you’re really here."

"Don't apologise to me. Mary here was the one who was trying to get your attention."

"Sorry, Mary," Henry said quietly, with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. "I just haven't seen my son here since he was seventeen, and it was a bit of a shock walking in here today and seeing him sitting there."

"That's Ok, Mr Spencer. I understand that and he is good looking to boot, just like his dad." She set the plate of food down and walked away; leaving two very embarrassed Spencer men sitting there with red cheeks.

"Well, Shawn, umm, what I mean is...well, how are you and what are you doing back here and what have you been doing with your life?

"Well, let’s see if I can answer those questions. One, I'm fine. Two, I'm just travelling through, in between jobs at the moment and three, I been having the best time of my life, visiting here and there, doing this type of job or that. Oh wait, you already know this, because Gus has already told you. Or at least that’s what he has told me over the phone when we talked, or maybe he has been telling me lies all this time! What do you think, Dad?"

"Shawn, I don't want to fight. I guess I just wanted to feel like I was still part of your life."

"Oh! I guess I'm just a bit tried and I did keep you in the loop, I sent you post cards."

"And I am grateful for that, I just wanted to hear your voice, to know that you were alright, to understand why you left."

"Why I left?” Shawn raised his voice. "Why I left? You had me arrested! You pushed me into dating that girl and then when I take her out on a real date you have me arrested for grand theft auto! Of your bloody pick up! And, not happy with just that, you were the one who arrested me as well! Then you left me in a cell over night with that monster. And you want to know why I left! Good God, Dad, open your eyes for once!"

With that Shawn grabbed his bike helmet and stormed out of the cafe without even looking back. If he had, he would have seen Henry watching him go. After a few seconds Henry's eyes widened as he remembered who was also in the cells that night.


	4. A Pause and Gus.

Shawn walked to his bike and angrily grabbed his helmet, then stopped to take a breath. One quick glance back and he could see his dad talking to the waitress. Just then a father and his son walked past and as their laughter reached his ears, a small pain hit his chest and he wondered why...why he and his dad couldn’t have been like that. Then a pain in his stomach reminded him why he had gone to the cafe in the first place. Turning to head back into the cafe, he was surprised to see the waitress standing behind him.

"Would you still like your food?" 

He could see pity in Mary's eyes, so he smiled back at her. "Yeah, thanks! I was just going back in and see if it was still there. Is this everything I ordered?”

She replied with a little laughter in her voice, "Yes, sausages, bacon, eggs and toast, along with your milk, coffee and pineapple juice!" Then with a bit more serious tone she added, "Your dad said you looked like you could use the food and asked me to pack it all up for you. You know, he’s worried about you and I know this because he talks about you all the time, and..."

"Stop right there." Shawn raised his hand as he interrupted her. "I know my dad cares for me, he always will and I love him as well, but we're just not close. Look, tell him, tell him I'm fine and I will see him again before I leave town."

"OK, I’ll tell him." 

He stood there as she went in and watched as she gave his dad the message. Henry turned and nodded at Shawn and for a small second they had a connection, then it was gone.

Shawn climbed onto his bike and headed off towards the company where his tall, black and very bald best friend worked. As he thought about Gus and all the antics that they had gotten up to as kids, he couldn't help but smile, then he got a bit upset when he started to remember that Gus was one of the reasons he left all those years ago.

The day before he left, they had a very big fight. He was telling Gus what had happened between him, his dad and the pick-up. But because he was ranting, he was not thinking straight and he let it slip that he was gay. Gus was shocked and told Shawn he never wanted to talk to him ever again. The next day he left, but he sent Gus a text telling him that he was going and asking if he could ever forgive him. All he had to do was just call. It was nearly a year before he heard from Gus, and over the years they had rebuilt their friendship. He pulled up outside Gus’ workplace and just sat there as he ate his lunch. After having his medication, he got up and went inside.

"Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Burton Guster. Could you please let him know that Mr. Spencer is here to see him, thank you."

As he waited for them to call Gus down, he hoped that their friendship was now just as strong, if not stronger, than it had been back when they were kids. Shawn sat himself down in the waiting room. He made sure it was a seat facing away from the reception desk, but he could still see everything through the reflection in the windows. Anyone watching him would have thought that he was just watching the people outside, but in reality he was watching out for Gus.

As he waited he wondered if Gus had changed much. It had been at least three years since he had last seen Gus. They ran into each other in Mexico. Shawn had been there for work (he had just about wiped out the entire police station on that job) and Gus was there for one of his comic book conventions. Shawn was brought out of his thoughts by the voice he knew and loved so well.

"Hi, Louise, I was told that there was someone to see me.”

"Yes, a gentleman by the name of Mr. Spencer. I believe he is the only person in the waiting room, Mr. Guster."

After thanking the receptionist, Gus headed in the direction of the waiting room.

Shawn watched his best friend and noted that Gus was just as tall and handsome as always. His smooth, bowling ball shaped head shimmered in the light from the sweat that had formed. Shawn could easily tell that Gus was nervous as he approached the seat he was sitting in.

"Err...Hi, Mr. Spencer! Look I haven't heard from Shawn for at least three weeks and with respect, sir, I did say I would let you know as soon as I did hear from him," Gus said with a mixture of fear and respect in his voice for the man he thought he was addressing. 

Shawn could not help the smile which crept across his face; after all, this was the reaction he was after when he told the receptionist he was 'Mr. Spencer'. Standing up, he replied, "That's because I've been out and having fun, Gus. F U N... fun! You do remember what fun is don't you, Gus" Then Shawn bust in to laughter at the shock look on Gus' face.

"Shawn? Shawn, is that you?"

"Yeah, buddy, it's me. How is everything? God, it is so good to see you. Fist bump?"

Gus just stared wide mouthed at Shawn."What?" Just then Gus' eyes moved down to see Shawn was holding out his arm, with the hand held in a fist. "What? Shawn, what are you doing here?" Then without warning, Gus' mood changes from confusion to anger at the prank Shawn had just pulled. "No, Shawn, NO! And what the hell are you doing here?" he said with a slightly raised voice. You could see the angry red colour rising in his face. Shawn took this as if Gus still had not forgiven him, both for when they were seventeen and what he had done in Mexico.

"I just wanted to say ‘hi’ and let you know that I, umm, I will be in town for a couple of weeks, and I guess I thought we might have been able to catch up, but don't worry, I can see that you’re busy. Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. Bye." Shawn quickly turned to leave so that Gus would not see the tears forming in his eyes. 


	5. Shawn and Gus' Past.

Shawn quickly turned on his heels and held his head up high as he moved away from Gus and towards the doors of the building. He was trying so hard to fight back the burning feeling of tears that wanted to escape. His heart, which he was so sure, had been broken in to too many pieces already, started to ache. Shaking his head, he tried in vain to stop his private picture theatre from starting up as the memories of the last time he walked away from Gus.

"Gus! Gus! GUS!" Seventeen year old Shawn shouted at his best friend’s window. "Gus!" On that fourth call, Gus popped his head out of the second floor window.

"Shawn? What the...Shawn, what do you want? It’s seven, in the morning, on a Saturday."

"Gus...buddy, friend, pal! I need to talk to you, NOW, please." Gus quickly dressed and met Shawn in the back yard.

"Ok, Shawn, this better be good. I've only come down here to hear you out because..." Gus started to count, holding up one finger for each point he stated. "One, you’re never up at seven on a Saturday morning. Two, you said please. Three, you're begging voice always gets to me. And, last but not least, number four, you look like hell. I mean your hair is a mess and you look like you’ve been through the wringer and back so what gives?"

"Well you know that girl I've been seeing?"

"Yes..."

"Well, I went out with her last night and I thought I'd use Dad's pick-up without telling him! And he reported it stolen and then, when we were found, he arrested me for grand theft auto."

"He what?” 

"He arrested me!"

"Mr. Spencer arrested you?"

"Yes!"

"Your dad?"

"Yes!"

"Arrested...his son?" 

"Yes!"

"Wow."

"I mean, what we were doing, well it wasn't anything illegal and he had pushed me into dating her anyway. You'd think he would have been a bit more understanding. It's just because he can't accept that I'm gay and......"

"Wait, what was that?"

"... then he goes and leaves me in the holding cell for like overnight and..." Shawn is stop in his tracks, by two hands clasping his arms very tightly. When he looks up into the eyes of his best friend, he doesn't see confusion but anger, simmering just below the surface.

"Shawn, what did you just say?"

"Dad left me in the holding..."

"No! The other thing! Before that!" Gus growled in a low voice.

Shawn stopped to think about what he had said and as he realised what it was. Shawn tried to take a step back from Gus, but Gus had a very good grip on his arms and it was getting tighter every moment they stood there.

"Oh! God," Shawn exclaimed as his eyes started to well up with tears. "Oh! God, Gus, please let me go. Please, you’re hurting me! I'm sorry, so sorry, I never meant for you to find out, please."

"So what you just said, it's true, you're gay,” Gus shouted into Shawn's face. Gus then pushed Shawn down hard onto the ground. "Get the hell out of here. I don't want to see you, hear from you or talk to you ever again. Do you understand me Shawn? Do you?"

"Yes. Yes, Gus, I understand. I'll get dad to send all of your stuff..."

"NO! Just burn it, or throw it out. I don't want any of it back. It'll be contaminated by your sickness. Now get out of here, before I really hurt you."

With that, Shawn got up running, running as fast as he could from his best friend, with tears running down his cheeks like a five year old.

Shawn's mind was so engulfed in the memory that he did not realise the doors had not open, and he walked straight into them. If falling flat on to his ass was not bad enough, the fact that he had knocked over two women in his attempt not to fall, just added to the embarrassment.

"Shawn! Are you ok?" came a very concerned voice from Gus. "Shawn?"

"I'm alright, are they?” he said, pointing towards the women.

"They’re fine! Come on, we’ll go up to my office and talk. Ok. Shawn?" Gus then held out his hand to Shawn.

About five minutes later, they were sitting in a five by five cubicle that Gus called his office. A quick look around and you could see it was his. Everything was in its place, neat and tidy. In one corner stood two photo frames, one was of Gus' mum and dad. The other, which surprised Shawn, was of him and Gus. It was taken when they bumped into each other in Mexico just before they went their different ways and promised to stay in touch. Who could have though that what happen to Gus there would cement their friendship back together again, stronger than before?

Shawn was in Mexico for another job, the type of one he hated. But being the good little soldier that he was, Shawn took the assignment. When he found out that the job was not what he was told it was going to be, he was not happy, but by then it was too late to back down. He didn't need the money, hell it wasn't even for the fact that he was under a contract that he couldn’t break. It was the fact that Conner had been sighted there. But as usual it was false information.

But to find Gus there was just what he needed. Gus needed him and this had given him the distraction he needed to forget Conner for a while. 

Gus was at a bar drinking heavily. Shawn nearly didn't recognise him. What gave him away was that Shawn would know Gus' voice anywhere, so as Shawn walked past this man was asking for another drink, Shawn knew straight away it was Gus. 

The neat, upright person that was Gus was gone and apart from the fact that he was drunk, you could see that he had not had a good night’s sleep for at least two weeks. The clothes Gus was wearing looked like he had them on for at least same length of time. They were tattered and torn, as if they had been ripped off him and thrown into the dirt then picked up and put back on. Another thing that had caught Shawn's attention was the fact he had no shoes on and Gus always wore his shoes. 

"Gus? Is that you, buddy?"

"What!"

"Gus, it's me, Shawn, Shawn Spencer, do you remember me?"

"Shawn?" 

"Yeah, Shawn!”

"SHAWN,” Gus shouted as he suddenly recognises him. "Shawn! Oh god, Shawn! Please help me, please, God, help me before he comes back, please," Gus begged.

"Easy, easy, Gus. Who...?" 

Gus started to cry, no longer looking at Shawn, but at a man standing behind him. The fear in his eyes told Shawn all he need to know. Somehow, some way this man was hurting the only person who was willing to put up with him. So he had to help.

Spinning around as he stood up. Shawn came face to face with this person. A quick assessment and he could see that they were about the same size. The real advantage Shawn had over him was the fact that this man was drunk, high or both.

"Get away from him, he's mine. I paid good money for that black whore." 

The foul words poured from his mouth, which, only a few seconds later, was full of blood and broken teeth from the right hook Shawn had given him! The stranger wiped his mouth and in his eyes was a killer gleam, which turned to terror when he looked up at Shawn. 

Now don't get it wrong, Shawn's easy out going look on life was still there and ninety percent of the time he lived by it. But when he did cross over that line, you saw only two moods. A serious, down to business look and this is the one he doesn't mind to show every so often, just to prove he can take things seriously and perform in a professional way. But this look he has now said it all, it reads as, 'don't mess with me, or you will be very, very sorry’. And since this was the look in his eyes right now, the man was just staring at him, in terror.

"Here, let me help you up," Shawn said. His voice was very deep and calm, which just added to the feeling; and his look still said, 'go ahead just try messing with me and see what happens.' The usually noisy bar was now as quite as a library as the crowd watched the two of them.

At first the man just looked at Shawn, and then with a blood filled mouth he replied, "Thanks, look if you really want him, take him. He screams too much like a girl anyway."

Shawn's simple reply to that was a punch to the stomach. While the man was doubled over in pain, Shawn grabbed him by the hair and forced him down into a nearby chair. 

"Right, you’re going to tell me what you have done to Gus and I mean everything. Understand! Now let’s start at the beginning. How long have you had him and how did you get him in this state."

"Yes sir, well...I bought him for $250."

"You bought him? How the, how did you do that?"

"Well! I saw him at the comic book convention two and half weeks ago and I, I sort of know this guy who, for the right price, would get him for me, you see..."

Gus made a slight movement and Shawn turned around to look at him which made the man flinch as if he thought Shawn was going to hit him again. So when Shawn turned back to face him, he tried to move away, because the smile Shawn now has on his face just emphasised the entire effect. 

Without missing a beat, Shawn continued. "I can guess what you wanted Gus for. So how long did you have him?"

"Just over two weeks, sir."

"Ok, how did you keep him from running away? I mean you've got him here in a bar and you feel it’s safe enough for you to leave him alone here, so what are you pumping him full of?"

"I'm giving him Rohypnol.”

"OK. Now, other than raping him, what damage have you done?”

"I bashed him a couple of times when he's refused to take the drug, that's all. I mean he's only a black..."

"He's a what! I very much suggest you get out of my sight immediately. He is my top concern right now, but if I ever see you again, you will not go to the hospital on your own two feet; it will be in a body bag. It is scum like you that nearly ruined our friendship years ago. So, now, GO.” And with that Shawn turned his back to the man who fell over the chair in his scramble to get away fast enough.

Shawn picked Gus up and took him back to his room. While Gus was still under the influence of the drug, he got him cleaned up and had a doctor look at him. He found out where Gus was working. Giving them a ring, he discovered that no one had missed Gus, as he was on six weeks leave. This gave Shawn just over two weeks to get Gus off the drugs! As he guessed, the man had lied to him and Gus also had cocaine in his system. He also hoped that Gus wouldn't remember much about what had happened to him. This would help him to mentally recover well enough to go home and back to work. 

In between helping Gus and doing his job, he was too busy to think about his hunt for Conner. 

At lease the man paid for what he did to Gus, for as fate would have it, he turned out to be one of the targets Shawn was there for in the first place. Shawn smiled as he thought ‘isn't revenge sweet especially, when you don't have to do anything. Karma does it all for you’.

"So, Shawn, what happen downstairs? Why did you walk into the window? It's not like you couldn't see it. Shawn? Hello, Earth to Shawn!"

"What! Oh, sorry, Gus." Shawn could feel the burning red of embarrassment creeping into his face. "I guess I was looking at something else instead of where I was going. So! How about having dinner with me tonight?"

"We'll see. How long have you been back in town and how long will you be staying this time?"

"Ok, I have not even been back for twenty-four hours yet and for a new record, I've already had my first fight with Dad." Shawn shook his head as he thought back at that. "And how long am I staying? I don't know yet." And with a twinkle in his green eyes, he added, "I haven't checked out the gay night life yet." And with that, he watched his lifelong friend roll his eyes at him. "OK, I'll leave you alone so you can get some work done; just give me a call if you want to catch up. Here’s my new number."

"Shawn, what happened to your old phone?" Gus asked with one eye brow raised.

"I lost it somewhere.” He raised his hand as if to wave. “Bye." He walked out of the little cubicle, leaving a very confused, but smiling Gus behind.

As he left the building he had a funny feeling someone was watching him; he looked around but could not see anyone and shrugged off the feeling. Hopping onto his bike, he rode off towards the Santa Barbara police station. 

If only Shawn had looked a little harder at the alleyway across the road, he would have seen a man in a long black trench coat and a black cowboy hat, that was pulled down low enough to cover his face. He was watching Shawn and in his hand was Shawn's lost mobile phone. After Shawn rode away the man turned and headed back down the alleyway. As he sat in the car that was waiting for him, he smiled an evil grin. And just before driving away he looked at a photo of Shawn he had strapped to the steering wheel and murmured to himself, "Don't worry, my sweet Shawn; we'll be together again very soon." And with that he drove off to his motel room to work out what his next move would be.


	6. Enter Detective Carlton Lassiter

As Shawn arrived at the police station he started to feel ill. A headache had set in and he felt tired and flat. A quick glance at his watch told him it was now three in the afternoon, which meant that had been about four hours since he last had any of his medication. Looking around, he saw a cafe straight across the road. Guessing that this would be the best vantage point to watch the station, and be able to have his fix at the same time, he made his way in. It didn’t take long to notice that just as he thought; it was full of cops, both in uniform and plain clothes. As he took a seat he had a real good look around. Except for its being full of cops, it was the same as most cafes Shawn have been in. The food was the same as well, but for the fact that there was a great big bowl of doughnuts on the counter. Shawn shook his head and thought 'why is it that cops and doughnuts go together'. Just then the waitress came up to him. "Hi, honey, you one of the new recruits?? What can I get ya?" "Arr, no, I'm not a cop, I just like hanging around them. And I'd love a black coffee and a glass of pineapple juice, please." "Yep, you're definitely not a cop; they don't usually use their manners. Ok, that’s a plain black and one tall, cool pineapple. You've got it, honey." As she walked away, another person entered the cafe. He had a scowl on his face that looked like he was ready to kill someone. The clothes he was wearing were your basic off the rack black suit with a pale blue cotton shirt underneath. The hair was the same as in the picture Shawn was looking at that morning and the only thing bluer then his shirt was his eyes. And they glistened with a deadly gleam. He walked up right next to Shawn just as the waitress placed Shawn's drinks down in front of him. She turned towards Lassiter. "Good afternoon, Detective, you're in here early today." "Good day, Sue, can I have my coffee, please?" "Yes sir, right away Detective." Lassiter just stood there as she walked away. He did not look around the place, but if he had he would have seen Shawn staring at him. After what felt like hours, even though it was only a few minutes, Sue returned with a disposable cup with what Shawn guess had Lassiter's coffee in it. He was just about to say something when a movement outside caught his attention. "Oh! No..." "Sorry?" Lassiter responded, turning towards Shawn "They’ve got to be kidding, they just have to be." "Who...? What...?" By now Lassiter was looking in the same direction as Shawn, but of course couldn’t see what Shawn was going on about. Shawn, who was drinking his juice, and slowly getting a slight buzz from taking his medication, started to giggle. And with laughter in his voice he mumbled to himself. "Oh, my god, they are idiots, they really are." "Right Mister, who are you talking about and to whom are you talking?" Lassiter questioned "Oh, sorry but you see those two men in the red overalls outside?" Lassiter looked back at the door. "Yes; so what." "Well, they must come under the heading of the world’s dumbest criminals.” "And why is that?" "Are you serious? They’re about to rob this cafe, and it’s straight across from a police station and it’s full of cops, that's why." "What...?" Just as Lassiter said this, the two men that Shawn had pointed out busted into the cafe shouting. "Freeze, this is a stick up. Put your hands in the air, and no one move" Their words fell short as they came face to face with a room full of cops. All hell broke loose as the police tried to apprehend the, would be crooks. In the mayhem, Shawn took this opportunity to get out of there before to many question were asked. As he sat on his bike watching the men being taken away he saw Lassiter looking around. His eyes locked onto Shawn and he started to move towards him, but Shawn had other ideas. He started his bike and rode off, with a very angry Lassiter staring him down. Shawn walked into his apartment, dropping down onto the couch thinking about his first day back in Santa Barbara. He had seen and talked to his dad and, as usual, they had a fight, caught up with Gus and finally made first contact with his main mark. In all, a good start on this job. While lying on his bed, Shawn thought about the day. They say first impressions are the best and if going by the one he got from Lassiter, was a good one. On the other hand, not so of some of the other officers. Maybe he needed to rethink his first mark. After all, he's here to get rid of some of the officers and it’s his decision as to whom he targets. The list he’s given is only a suggestion and Detective Lassiter might just make it off that list. Yes, this was going to take some more thought. Just as he was falling off to sleep again, Shawn's phone started ringing. It wasn't his work one this time but his personal phone and it was Gus. "Hi, Shawn, I finished up earlier then I thought I would, so you still want to go out and get dinner tonight?" "I’d love to, Gus; where should I meet you?” Shawn was good with Gus’ suggestion. “Ok, see you in about an hour. Bye” Shawn jumped into the shower, feeling happier and more relaxed than he had felt in a long time. Maybe, just maybe, after this job he might be able to take a break for a while. And as he allowed the hot water wash over him an image of Lassiter's face, with those blue eyes looking at him, played inside his mind. His last thought as he walked out of his apartment was, 'maybe life can be kind to me. Maybe Lassiter might be the one to get me to settle down and help heal this shattered heart of mine'. He closed the door, and with a skip in his step, he headed off to meet Gus.


	7. Shawn's Job

For the next week, Shawn spent his days either with Gus, avoiding his dad, and if he couldn't, trying to have a civilised conversation without fighting with him and doing research in to the police officers in Santa Barbara! He didn't want to take out the wrong ones as his reputation was in question at the moment and any mistake would finish him.

When Shawn first arrived back in Santa Barbara, he had made several different piles with the files he had. The biggest pile was the one he had labelled 'not to worry about' and the second biggest was 'possibilities'. But after having a good look through them he ended up taking out three files and adding them to the pile of names he was given to start with. Once he had gone through all of the piles he was left with six names to be fully checked out. They were Officers Thomson, Smith, Green and Hall, as well as Sergeant Pittsworth and the one and only Detective Lassiter!

Although he did not think Lassiter was the person that the report suggested him to be, he still had to investigate and make a decision. After all, Lassiter was one of the three he was originally sent to Santa Barbara to investigate in the first place.

Lassiter was at the top of his list, so he decided to start with the others and get them out of the way. He started with Officers Green and Hall, as they seem to always be in the same place together, even though there was no reason for them to be. As far as he could see Green and Hall were just petty thieves, stealing things from accident scenes and the calls of breaking and entering they had attended. While compiling his report, he realised that Sergeant Pittsworth's name kept coming up. He had also worked with the other two officers for the last seven years at different stations. Taking this into consideration and the fact that, when a call came in, he was the one in charge of who went to these calls, he concluded that they all had been working together to commit these crimes. Now all he needed was proof that this was happening.

After a short surveillance of Officers Thomson and Smith he knew exactly what they were hiding. He understood how they felt. It must have be hard for them, to keep their secret, feeling that they could not come out and tell the rest of the station that they were gay or the fact that they were dating each other. 

As for Lassiter, quite a few questions had been raised about him. One: how could a man like him have such a big house in an upper class area of the city so far from the job he was supposed to love so much. Two: why was he always early for his shift and worked long hours afterwards? Three: if he loved this job so much, like everyone keeps saying he does, why he was so grumpy and harsh to his fellow officers. Apart from his partner, Lassiter didn't mix with anyone. And the big number four: where did the $50, 000 that was paid into his bank account come from.

After looking into his personal life Shawn found out the answer for the first three and they all come down to the same thing; a woman by the name of Victoria. Victoria Lassiter to be precise! Lassiter’s wife! As it turned out, she had come from a rich family. This meant that she just had to have the right house, at the right price, in the right area. And if Shawn remembered correctly, in the past, when he had the pleasure to deal with her family! She family she did not come across as a very nice person. (Shawn remembered he though at the time, that if she had an ice statue made of her, the statue would be warmer). So that explained initially why he was always working long hours! But the way things were, their marriage was on the rocks, which explains his bad mood. But why was he still working the long hours, as Victoria had moved out and back into her parents’ place.

That answer came in the form of another woman, his partner to be precise. From what he could see they were close, closer than two partners should be. Oh, Shawn had no problems with them having an affair as such. Even working in the same station, no problems! But working as partners could greatly diminish their focus on their jobs. So apart from explaining away the first three questions, there is still one question left. Where did the money come from?

Looking at the clock, it was time for him to head out to the cafe to watch his favourite detective, so he called Gus to meet him there for lunch. He could not wait; it had been two days since he first dragged Gus to the cafe. When Gus saw that it was a cop's cafe he had a look of guilt over his face. Shawn couldn't work out why though, especially since Shawn's dad was a cop and had often taken Gus and him to places like this all the time when they were kids. Shawn smiled at the memory, grabbed his medication out of the fridge and then he was out the door. As he drank his pineapple juice he started to think that maybe, just maybe, this isn't such a bad job after all.


	8. Shawn Loses his Temper

Shawn walked into the cafe and with a quick look around he spied Gus sitting at one of the far tables. With five large steps and a great big smile on his face, he reached Gus in no time. But the smile disappeared as soon as he saw who Gus was sitting with. It was his dad.

"Hi, Gus. Dad, I thought you would have gotten sick of seeing people in police uniforms. Oh I know, you’re here for the female officers," Shawn said, his arms flying in the air indicating a few of the aforementioned female officers. "And I must admit, Dad, they are good looking." Shawn grabbed the glass Gus was drinking from and sat down next to him.

"Shawn, that is mine," Gus barked as he snatched it back. "Go and get your own."

"Shawn, how would you know if any woman is good looking, I thought you were supposed to be gay?"

"I am gay, Dad, but that doesn't mean I'm dead or I can't appreciate beauty when I see it. It just means that if I had the choice between a man and woman to take to bed, the man would win."

"Yuck," Gus replied screwing up his face. "That is entirely too much information, Shawn, way too much information." 

Shawn busted into laughter at Gus’ response, his eyes shining from the tears of joy that were forming. He turned to look at his dad and immediately knew that something was wrong. Henry sat there with his arms crossed in front of him, his chin on his chest and his eyes narrowed, staring straight at him.

"Dad, what's wrong? If it’s what I said don't worry, Gus is ok with me being gay."

"Shawn, are you on drugs?”

The question came out of the blue and was asked in a low, calm voice. A few officers’ sitting within ear shot overheard it and stopped talking, turning around to face the three men. By now Shawn had stopped laughing; his eyes had narrowed just like his dad’s. The only difference was Shawn had a shocked look on his face. Gus just sat there looking back and forth between the two men; he was cornered. The only way for him to get out was past Shawn and he knew that was not going to happen. 

With his voice slightly raised Shawn replied, "What makes you think I'm on drugs?"

"Your eyes are slightly glazed over and you're very jumpy. And before you say you've always been jumpy, you just seem more agitated than usual."

Shawn was shocked at how his dad picked up on that. Yeah, sure, he had taken a lot of his medication before coming and yes, it does make him a little hyperactive. But he didn't think it had affected him that much. His problem was what does he says to his dad. He could have said, 'Oh yeah, Dad, sure I'm using, but you won't find anything in my blood', or 'Yeah, Dad, I've got this very rare medical condition that requires me to take a drug that makes me hyperactive'. Yeah, he could really see that working.

"No, Dad, it’s just me. I'm like that, remember, a fun loving, prank pulling guy who would love to take that officer with the blue eyes that just walked through the door home with me and fuck him senseless."

Once again, the officers who could hear him quickly turned around to see who had just walked in. To their surprise it was their head detective, Detective Lassiter. A few let out little giggles, but most just started to talk about that comment to each other!

Detective Lassiter had only come in because he had heard that the person he was looking for had turned up at the cafe. He noticed that a few of the officers were whispering and pointing at him, but he decided to dismiss it and having a look around, he spied his target. He headed over to the table where was sitting.

Shawn, who had being watching Lassiter through the mirror on the wall, saw that he was heading his way. Not wanting to deal with Lassiter just yet he had to come up with an idea. Turning towards his dad, Shawn come up with a plan to get out of there fast.

"Dad, how could you accuse me of using drugs in a place like this? What! Is this going to be like when I was seventeen? You trying to get me arrested to teach me another lesson? If you had lived the life I have lived, you would probably use drugs too, but I don't. I didn't take drugs when I was being sexually abused as a child. I didn't take drugs after the many times I’d been raped or beaten up by my boyfriends. So what the hell would make you think I would be taking drugs, when everything is going right for me at the moment”?

By the time Shawn had finished, he had the audience he wanted. But he was also wondering where the hell all that came from. After all, he had just about spilled out his entire life to his dad. The life he didn't want to remember and definitely didn't want his dad to know about. If his dad had heard anything he had said, he was not showing it, in fact the opposite. His eyes were now burning with anger and he looked like he was about to explode. Poor Gus sat there stunned, he had known that Shawn had gotten himself involved with a few abusive partners, but he did not know the full extent until now. But the biggest shock was that Shawn had just suddenly, and without any reason, turned on his dad. Now Henry looked like he was about to kill Shawn.

Henry stood up, not taking his eyes off Shawn. Then all of a sudden he grabbed his coat and stormed off. As he passed Lassiter, their shoulders collided. Henry turned and mumbled a quick sorry and then walked out of the cafe.

By this time Shawn had overcome his shock he grabbed Gus by his arm and they slipped past Lassiter. As Lassiter turned back from the exiting Henry to look at the table, Shawn and Gus slipped out the front door. Then Shawn dragged Gus around the corner of the building to where his bike was. Still in shock at this strange behaviour of Shawn's, Gus just went along for the ride.

"What the bloody hell was that, Shawn?” Gus questioned.

"Shhh," Shawn replied waving his hand at him. “I’ll tell you in a minute."

Gus joined Shawn at the corner to see what he was looking at. At first there was nothing, and then Detective Lassiter came into sight. He was looking around for something and Gus could easily guess it was Shawn.

"Shawn, what have you done to get the top detective in Santa Barbara after you? I mean, you've only been here for a week?"

"I haven't done anything to him, not that I wouldn't want to. Have you seen his eyes, they really are the bluest of blues and I could easily drown in them if he would just let me."

"Oh, please, don't tell me you made a pass at him. Please tell me you didn't."

"No. I haven't. I've only said a few words to him and most of them I was actually saying to myself. I saw two men standing outside of this cafe the first time I was here and I could tell they were going to try and rob the place. I was just saying what I saw and he overheard me. He asked what I was talking about and I told him. I'm guessing he wants to talk with me about that day and to be honest. I just don't want to explain myself to him."

"Ok, fine, now what about the outburst at your dad and what you just said to him."

"I needed a way out and since me and dad hadn't had a fight for a couple of days, I thought what the heck. And I was telling the truth, I don't do drugs."

"I meant the other information you told him about. The rapes and abusive boyfriends! And were you really abused as a child, you never said anything to me about it." You could see the mixed emotions in Gus' eyes, a mixture of sadness, disbelief and mistrust.

"Look, Gus, to be honest I never meant any of this to get out, especial to my dad. And I have no idea why I said all of that; I was planning on just fighting with him about the drug comment, not spilling out my life's problems. I guess that even though my mind didn't want to tell, my mouth had other ideas. Look, Gus, can we just forget about what I said please." And with that, Shawn tilt his head to one side, put on his best puppy dog look and started to flutter his eye lids. "Pretty please?"

"Ok, Shawn, but when you're ready to talk about it, I'll be waiting." With that they bumped fists and Gus walked to his car and drove off. Shawn got on to his bike and watched Gus leave. Suddenly a shiver ran down his back and he started to look around. He had that feeling that he was being watched again, but couldn't see anyone. Putting on his helmet he just rode off.

Just after he left, a man walked out of the bushes nearby. A man Shawn wanted to see, but at the same time never wanted to see again as long as he lived. Conner put on a lopsided smile, as he watched Shawn leave. "So, Shawn, if you think you can cheat on me with this Lassiter man, you're so wrong. You are mine, you will always be mine. I thought you had learned that after what happened to all the others, but it looks like you haven't learned your lesson yet. What a shame."

Just then Lassiter walked around the corner. Seeing Conner at the side of the cafe he carefully approaches him. After all, Conner was hidden in the shadows. "Excuse me, sir, I'm looking for a young man on a motor bike. Did you happen to see him?" 

"Yes, I did, he went into the bushes over there with a black gentleman." Conner pointed at the bushes where he had just been. As Lassiter headed over to the place indicated, he took his eyes off Conner. That proved to be a big mistake. Before he could react Conner hit him over the head with a stick he picked up from the ground.

As Lassiter tried to get up, Conner hit him again and again. He even put his foot into Lassiter's rib cage and stomach once or twice. As he bent down with a knife in his hand, Conner could hear a shout coming from behind him and knew help was on the way.

"Tell Shawn that Conner said ‘hi’." Making sure he got his point across, Conner punched Lassiter in the face and then disappeared back into the bushes.

Just before Lassiter blacked out he heard other people around him shouting out orders. A few ran past him into the bushes after Conner. But all he could think of was 'who the hell was Shawn'. Then the blackness took over.


	9. News of Lassiter's Attack.

As Shawn walked into his apartment, he was shaking his head. For the life of him, he couldn't work out what happened today. Was he losing it? What was he thinking telling his dad all that stuff? Maybe he should have taken more time off from work after what had happened with Conner but that would mean having to admit that Conner had broken him, and Shawn was always taught that allowing personal feelings to interfere with work was a big sign of weakness. Also, being able to push his feelings aside and get on with his job is what made him so good at it.

Anyway, when he let people know his feelings toward them, they always used it against him. Conner did and because of that a lot of innocent people paid the price with their lives. He was so blinded by his feelings for Conner that he could not see the monster he was until it was too late. Way too late!

Once again shaking his head, he made his way over to the fridge. He grabbed the left over pizza from last night and threw it into the microwave. While he waited for it to heat up he poured a tall glass of pineapple juice. As he headed into the bedroom to find himself a change of clothes, he turned on the TV. He had started a habit of sitting in front of the TV as he was eating. If the news was on, even the better! He'd watch the interviews of crime victims and see if he could work out where and how the crime was done and who did it. If he got enough information he would then ring the help line and give them the information he had, along with his name and contact phone number for the reward money. Oh, he didn't need the money as such, but he could always find someone who could and give it to them. Just as he entered the bedroom, the woman on the news started to talk.

"And in a moment we will be going over to the press conference being held by the interim Police Chief, Karen Vick. And once again, to recap that the police are asking for anyone who was in the area of the police station about two this afternoon, to please come forward if they saw anything suspicious or witness the attack on the Head Detective, Carlton Lassiter. We will go to the conference straight after this commercial!"

Shawn shot out of his bedroom door like a bullet. He didn't just hear that right, did he! Detective Lassiter has been attacked? Shawn was shocked, not just that Lassiter had been attacked but because his heart had started to beat faster, and his thoughts had an anger and protective mode to them. 'Not my Lassie, someone has hurt my Lassie, I'll kill them...what the... Where the hell did that come from?' Groaning, he slowly sat down on the couch. Staring at the TV, he shook his head.

"Great, Shawn, you've done it again, you've fallen for a target. You are such an idiot," he chided himself.

The anchorwoman was back on the screen, and then it flicked to a scene of the cafe and an ambulance with an unconscious Detective Lassiter being put in the back. He was staring at the scene and then he froze, for there in the background was Conner. He was smiling and Shawn knew straight away that Conner had done this but why? The picture changed and now a very distinguished woman stood in front of a set of microphones. Even though cameras flashed all round her, she did not flinch. Instead she raised her hand to indicate that she was ready to start and only after everybody had settled down, did she start to speak.

“My name is Karen Vick, and I am Interim Police Chief for the Santa Barbara Police Department..."

"Chief Vick, is it true that Detective Lassiter has died?"

Shawn felt his heart stop and he held his breath.

"The answer that question is NO! But I am asking you to please leave your questions until I’ve given my statement, please.”

Shawn let the breath he was holding out. 'Thank God' he thought

As I was saying, at about two pm this afternoon one of my officers, Head Detective Carlton Lassiter was viciously attacked by an unknown assailant, for reasons we still don’t know. We are calling to the public to try and help us find this person before he strikes again. Although we do not have a description of this person, we do know this. It was a white male, about 6 foot 3. He ran off into the brush behind the Shanty Cafe. We got this information from Detective Lassiter himself as he came to about half an hour ago. We are also looking for another male by the name of 'Shawn', for information he may have involving this attack. As the attacker had told Detective Lassiter before leaving to tell Shawn ‘Hi’. If this 'Shawn' or anyone else who may have seen anything, even if you don't think it's important, please call the station. All information will be taken seriously."

"Now, are there any questions?" 

"How serious was the Detective's injury?"

"Detective Lassiter received cuts to his face, legs and arms. His left arm was broken in two places. He also received a severe concussion." 

“Are there any other question?"

"How do you think this 'Shawn' person is connected to this?"

"At present we cannot say. Only that we assume that the attacker thinks that Detective Lassiter knew him in some form. And this now concludes this conference. Thank you for your time. And once again, 'Shawn', whoever you may be, please contact us as soon as possible." Chief Vick looked straight into the camera as she repeated the plea.

With the conference done, Chief Vick leaves and the picture returns to the anchorwoman, who goes over the interview and recaps the contact numbers. Shawn's hand shook as he picked up the receiver of his phone and dialled the number he had come to know by heart!

"Santa Barbara police station, Officer McNab speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hi! Officer McNab. My name is Shawn Spencer and I think I'm the 'Shawn' everybody is looking for in relation to the attack on Detective Lassiter. Can I make a time to come in to see the Chief, please?"

Buzz was surprised. The interview had just been shown and the person they want to talk to has already called in. "We’d like for you to come in as soon as possible; the Chief isn't leaving until this is solved. Just come to the front desk and asked for me."

"Ok, I'll be there in about ten minutes, bye.” Shawn hung up the phone and sat there for a couple of minutes, steadying himself. He then picked up his work phone and dialled the only number in it.

"Hello, Chief... Yeah I know I'm not due to report in yet, but a problem has come up. Are you sitting down? Well it looks like Conner has attacked my target, Detective Lassiter, and has pointed the finger at me." Shawn screwed up his face as the other man started to yell into the phone at him.

"Chief...Chief. I'm on my way to see the interim police chief, a Karen Vick, now. I just wanted to check with you that I can tell her why I'm here.”

“...” 

Thanks for that and I'll get her to ring you to confirm my details.

“...” 

“Ok, bye, and don't worry, I won't shot Conner if I see him." Shawn hung up and went to his fridge. Grabbing his medicine, he takes two gulps, puts it back then heads out the door!   
Meanwhile, at the station, McNab is knocking on the Chief’s door and waits for her response.

"Enter,” she says and looks up from the paperwork spread out on the desk. “Yes, McNab."

"Umm, Chief, I just got a call from a man claiming to be the 'Shawn' we're looking for. He's coming in now and wants to see you."

"Well that was quick; when he gets here, bring him straight to me. But don't let anyone else know who he is. Ok?"

"Yes, Chief." McNab returned to his post at the front desk to wait for ‘Shawn’ to arrive.


	10. Shawn Meets the Chief

Shawn swerved in and out of the traffic as he headed over to the station. His mind was spinning, filled with thoughts of that afternoon and what he was going to tell Chief Vick. His mind keep going over and over what he had seen, heard and said. But every time, he ended with same conclusion, he saw and heard nothing. Unfortunately the same couldn't have been said about what he had said. The place where Lassiter had been attacked was the same place where he and Gus had talked after leaving the cafe. If Conner had been in the bushes and over heard them...he started to shiver as he remembered the conversation.

“Shawn, what have you done to get the top detective in Santa Barbara after you? I mean, you've only been here for a week."

"I haven't done anything to him, not that I wouldn't want to. Have you seen his eyes, they really are the bluest of blue and I could easily drown in them if he would just let me."

"Oh, please, don't tell me you made a pass at him. Please tell me you didn't."

"No, I haven't, I've only said a few words to him and most of them I was actually saying to myself. I saw two men standing outside of the cafe the first time I was in there and I could tell they were going to try and rob the place. I was just commenting to myself and he overheard me. When he asked what I was talking about and I told him. I'm guessing he wants to talk to me about that day and to be honest I just don't want to explain myself to him."

He pulled up out front of the station and dismounted. Instead of going inside he walked across the road to where the crime scene tape was. He was right, the same spot. Conner must have overheard him and Gus, and then after they had left, Lassiter must have come over there and Conner had attacked him. It was times like this that he wished that he didn't have that contract or the badge that went along with it. While he stood there his work phone started to ring, picking it up he answered.

"Hi boss! What do you want?

“...” 

“Yeah, I've just gotten here.”

“...” 

“No, I was thinking that instead of telling her the full truth about me and blowing the cases you could just back me up with my cover story.”

“....”

“What's that going to be? Oh, only that your office hires me on certain occasions, as a Psychic Investigator.”

“...” 

That's right, a Psychic Investigator. You, yourself had said that if you hadn't already known me, you would have thought I was psychic with the way I do things. Oh, and by the way, while you’re at it can you please organise the paper work to go with it.”

“...” 

“Great, thanks for that. And expect Chief Vick to ring very shortly. Bye."

As Shawn walked into the station, he needed to be able to pull off the idea of him being a psychic. With his eidetic memory and heightened observational skills, he couldn't see it being much of a problem. He slowed his pace and looked around; there were only a few police in the room. He guessed most would be out trying to find Detective Lassiter's attacker. The ones still here were mainly rookies or office workers.

His eyes fell onto one of the officers, Officer McNab. Shawn knew who he was, as his file was the only one Shawn didn't even worry about looking at. He was in a back room, with the door open, practising what looked like the dance steps to a waltz. Shawn remembered some of the officers talking about a rookie who was getting married soon. Well there was one foot in now to find another one. Looking around he spied a rough looking man that was chained to the seat. Watching him he noticed that he had broken red glass over his shirt; he walked over and sat down on the other end of the bench.

"Hi. What did you do, smash your ex's car up?"

"No! Her new boyfriend's and they have no witness."

"Sweet, but it might help if you brush the glass off your sleeve."

"Oh, thanks."

And just as Shawn guessed, as he brushed the pieces of glass off they fell straight into his boots and that was strike two. He got up and walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me; I'm looking for Officer McNab."

"One moment, sir, and I'll see if I can find him. And who shall I say is looking for him?"

"Just tell him it’s the gentleman who rang a bit earlier."

The female officer looked him up and down once and then left without even looking back. A few moments later, someone walked up to Shawn.

"Excuse me, are you Shawn?"

Looking up with a great big smile on his face, Shawn looked straight at the dancing officer.

"Yes and you must be Officer McNab, right?"

"Yes sir, the Chief is waiting for you in her office. Please follow me."

As McNab turned to leave, Shawn stood up and followed him. He could feel the eyes on him. Normally this would not bother him, as being the centre of attention is what he loved, but this time was different. This had to do with one of their own and if he had anything to do with what happened, they'll rip him apart. McNab suddenly stopped in front of the Chief's door, knocked, waited, and when told to do so, enter with Shawn close on his heels.

"Yes McNab."

"Sorry, Chief, but you asked me to bring 'Shawn' to you as soon as he arrived"

With that the chief swung her chair around to face them.

"So you think that you're the 'Shawn' we're looking for, do you. Please sit down and tell me three things. Why do you think you are the one? If you are this; ‘Shawn’, who, attacked my Detective and why? And last but not lease where will we find him?"

"Firstly chief that's four things. Ok where do I start... well, my name is Shawn. Shawn Spencer and..."

"Wait a minute, Spencer, as in Henry Spencer's son!"

With a very heavy sigh Shawn replied. "Yes! I'm that Shawn Spencer. Now where was I? That's right, my name is Shawn Spencer and the name of the man who attacked Detective Lassiter is Conner Master. And on the news report that showed the good detective being put into the ambulance, Conner was standing in the background grinning as if he was the cat that ate the canary. Where to find him I... I can't tell you. I... I just can't get a fix on him. And the spirits just won't tell me because they just want to protect me so that I will not kill him! And why he did it, well that's my fault." Hanging his head down, Shawn then said, "Sorry"

"Ok! McNab! Could you please go and call Mr. Spencer's father for me, and ask him to come to the station."

"I'm not mad you know; I am psychic."

"Ok, McNab. Make that call please."

"I can prove it." His right hand moved to his head, placing his pointer finger to his temple and his thumb on his jaw line he continued. "I can see, one two three, one two three. McNab, when is the wedding?"

"In May and... wait, how did you know?"

"I've got the feeling from you, of dancing classes for a wedding. Wait! What... Ok if you go to holding cell... two... You'll find a man suspected of breaking a tail light on a car. The evidence is in his... left shoe."

The chief looked at him. Then looked at McNab!

"Ok, McNab, check on holding cell two and before you come back and tell me what you find, please ring Mr. Spencer."

With that McNab turned, opened the door and exited, shutting the door behind him.

"Now, Mr. Spencer..."

Shawn turned back to the Chief with his hand raised. "Just one thing Chief, I am Shawn, not Mr. Spencer; that name belongs to my dad. Now that McNab has left and before we continue, I would like it if you give Police Commissioner Masters a ring and he will confirm who I am, as he often uses me."

"Do you have his number, Shawn?"

"Yes I do, but I think you already have the number for his office. Once again Shawn put his hand to his head and it is sitting... just under you little black book. Oh, and he is waiting for you to call."

"Fine, but if you’re trying to pull a con, I will throw you into the deepest and darkest cell I can find, understand?"

"Yes, Chief Vick."

Chief Vick picked up the number that was under her black book and dialled it.

“...”

"Yes, good evening. My name is Karen Vick and I am the Interim Chief of Police in Santa Barbara. I was wondering if I could please speak to Commissioner Masters... Oh, he's being waiting for my call... Thank you. 

“...”

“Commissioner Masters, yes, I'm...”

“...” 

“Ok you know who I am and why I'm calling and Shawn is the psychic you hire. Thank you for that, Sir, and I hope you have a good evening.”

“...” 

“Thank you and good bye." She just stared at the phone as she hung it up. Chief Vick then raised her head and looked at Shawn. "It seems that the Commissioner backs your claim of being a psychic."

"You’re wrong."

"About what"

"He won't have a good evening."

"And why is that?"

"Because, Chief, because Conner is his son."

"Oh! And why did you say that the attack on Detective Lassiter was your fault?

“Because in Conner's mind I'm still his, and I didn't know he was in the bushes watching me. He must have overheard me talking to my friend about the detective and he got the wrong idea. I am so, so sorry."

"Ok, so you’re with Conner and..."

"No! Conner is an escaped prisoner. He's a child molester, and a child killer and cop killer. We...we were married and we had a child and..." Shawn started to shake and get very stressed out, as he tried to tell the Chief the story of Conner. It was the first time since the whole mess had happened that he had told anyone. He didn't think it would affect him so much, but now the pain that he felt back then, was back. And it was just as bad.

"Can I get you a drink or something, Shawn?"

Just then McNab knocked and entered. The Chief looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"Shawn was right, we found what we needed and his dad is on his way here. Is he ok?"

"I'm fine, thank you, McNab."

"Well, can I get McNab to get you a drink of water?"

"If it’s ok with you, I'd prefer pineapple juice, please."

"Ok, McNab."

And with that McNab leaves once again.

"Ok, when he returns and your dad gets here, we’ll start again with what you wanted to tell me."

"No, I'm fine and I don't want my dad to hear this. As I was saying Conner and I were married and we had a child. I didn't know until it was too late that he had been molesting her. I'd been working on a case with the Commissioner. We were trying to catch a serial cop killer. It turned out to be Conner. He had been killing the officers I had been working with, because he thought they were going to steal me away from him. I still didn't know til he told me and that was after I walked in on him touching... Misty, our daughter! I was in shock and he over powered me. He then tied me up and forced me to watch as he raped her. Then he showed how he killed the officers, using her as the victim." Shawn had his head down as he told the story, but the Chief could still see the tears. Shawn suddenly turned towards the bull pen. Then he whipped back around and cleaned up his face as quickly as he could. When Chief Vick looked out she saw McNab walking towards her office followed by Henry Spencer.

"To end this," Shawn said, "Conner was arrested. But somehow he escaped and we haven't been able to track him down yet."

With that the door opened and in walked McNab and Henry. Henry nodded at Chief Vick and the turned to Shawn.

"Shawn, what have you done now?”


	11. Conner has a Lassie

Shawn turned to his father. His eyes glistened with anger, which only his dad could see, because as usual, Shawn's face was covered by a big smile.

"Well, hello to you, too, my dearest father and to what do we owe this visit?"

Shaking his head Henry replied, "Shawn, I got a call from this young officer telling me that you were here and that the Chief of Police wanted to see me."

In an instant the smile was gone and Shawn's entire attitude changed. "And so, why are you here again? I mean the last time I was in trouble with the law in Santa Barbara you didn't care or was that just because you were the arresting officer at the time."

"Shawn, I'm warning you, I'm here at the Chief's request. So once again, what have you done?" Henry said through clenched teeth. 

The Chief saw this and decided it was time for her to enter the conversation. "Mr Spencer... Henry! Please take a seat. Shawn is helping us with our inquiries into the attack on Detective Lassiter earlier today. I called you in here to confirm what your son has told me is true or not. But after I made the request for Officer McNab to call you, I have had that information confirmed by another source. I am sorry if bringing you down here has upset you."

"Not at all, chief, it’s just when it comes to Shawn I..."

"Hey, I'm sitting right here you know."

"Yes, Shawn, we know. Ok, Shawn, how would you know anything about the attack on Detective Lassiter?" 

"Well, as I was telling the Chief when you first came in, after my dad and I had that argument at the cafe, he left and then Gus, that’s my best friend, Burton Guster, and I left, Gus and I were outside, just around the corner from the cafe where I had parked my bike. I was actually watching out for the Detective Lassiter as I knew he was looking for me."

"Mr. Spencer, excuse me, Shawn, why was Detective Lassiter looking for you?"

"Well the first day I was back in Santa Barbara I had stopped in the cafe to get a drink. Detective Lassiter was there and we were sitting next to each other when the spirits forewarned me that the two guys just outside were going to try and rob the cafe. Not thinking I mumbled to myself about it and Detective Lassiter overheard me. He asked me what I was going on about and I told him, just as they came in. I didn't want to get caught up in the mess so I slipped out. When he saw me there today, I sensed that he wanted to talk to me about the other day and I just didn't want to be explaining myself."

"To bad, looks like you ended up doing that anyway, to me, Shawn."

Just then the phone on Chief Vick's desk rang. For the first few rings they all just stared at it then Chief Vick answered it.

"Hello, Chief Vick speaking”

“...”

“Yes! Thank you for that, I will have one of my officers down there straight away.”

“...” 

“Yes, I will and thank you again, bye." Putting down the phone, Karen let out the breath she was holding. Her eyes fall on McNab. "Officer McNab, go and tell Detective Carter and the new Detective... O'Hara? To come here please! Now, Shawn, you were saying that you were hiding from Detective Lassiter and?"

"Well, Gus had asked me why I was hiding from him and I gave him the same answer as I just gave you. At first Gus though I might have made a pass at the detective and I had told him no, but I would have liked to, I mean the man is cute. And I guess that Conner must have been hiding in the bushes behind us and overheard it. I'm guessing that after we left, Detective Lassiter must have decided to look there for me and Conner attacked him."

"I see and you...I guess 'saw' Conner when you saw the report on the news tonight."

"Oh Yes! I saw him, but not in a vision. He was the man standing in the background with a great big grin on his face. What I don't get is; how is Conner able to avoid capture when the entire police force is after him and none of your officers recognised him." With that Shawn turned and pointed at the posters plastered all over the station and in Chief Vick's office as well. Almost all of them were of Conner. They carried a picture of him and the words 'ESCAPED PRISONER. COP KILLER, APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION.’

Just then the door opened and two detectives walked in. The one in the lead was the older officer, Detective Carter. He was a tall, thin man with black hair that had a slight tinge of grey flecked through it. The female detective was young; she looked like she had just come out of the academy. She had long flowing blonde hair just pass her shoulders and although she was not as tall as her male counterpart, she did stand up straight and tall.

"Detective Carter, I needed you to go down to the hospital to interview Detective Lassiter please. He came to about an hour or so ago and the doctors think he’s strong enough to talk now. I want you to take O'Hara here so she can get some experience."

"With respect, Chief, do you think sending O'Hara with me is in the best interest for the case? I mean O'Hara is Detective Lassiter's partner after all."

"Yes, O'Hara is his partner, but she started today and has only been his partner for about one hour, so I can't see that causing any trouble. Now go and I expect to see the report on my desk before you leave to go home tonight. McNab, get me a copy of the news conference and a drink for everyone, please."

"Yes, Chief."

"Shawn, can you please step out for a moment, so I can talk to your father alone.”

Shawn looked back and forth between them for a moment knowing that was more than just a simple request, nodded his head and then left. He would have loved to hear what they were saying, but instead he took this time to look over the bull pen. The set up was the same as most police stations and from where he was standing he could see his dad's old desk. Wandering over to it he was surprised that it was now Detective Lassiter's desk. Staring down at it he took in everything on it that he could see. In fact, he was so occupied did not hear someone walked up behind him.

"What do you think you’re doing?" a barking voice came from behind him.

Spinning around, Shawn was very surprised to find the voice came from a small man. He only came up to Shawn's shoulders, his hair was white and his skin was black as charcoal. The smile that had now replaced the scowl showed two rows of white teeth.

"Shawn? Shawn Spencer! Sergeant Henry Spencer's little boy. Well, look at you; haven’t you grown into a fine young man, or have you?"

Shawn just stood there blinking for a few moments. Then all of a sudden the light bulb in his head turned on and he recognise the officer. "Lawrence! Sid Lawrence! Oh my god, I thought you left the police force years ago. Sorry, I saw dad's old desk and not thinking, I just wondered over here."

"That's ok, I see him in with our Chief. So what did you do this time?"

"Nothing,” but Shawn could see the doubt in Lawrence’s eyes. “No really, nothing. I'm just the 'Shawn' you guys are looking for. So how’s your wife?"

Lawrence lowers his head, "I lost her about five years ago to cancer. May she, rest in peace."

"I'm sorry to hear that, she was a good woman. I'm sorry, Sid, but looks like I'm wanted back in there; I'll catch up with you later, bye." And with that, Shawn walked away. As he entered the office, McNab followed him in with the drinks. He sat back down, giving a side glance at his dad. The Chief was on the phone again.

"What did you just say?...No come back to the station right away... ok, and come straight to my office when you get here...see you then.”. Everyone could see she was upset. At lease a thousand thoughts were running through her head. She looked up at Shawn with a killer look, a quick sideways look at Henry, then back at Shawn.

"Shawn, do you have any idea where we will be able to find your friend Conner?"

"Conner is not my friend, I told you I was in a relationship with him once, a long time ago, but not now. He’s a mad man. And no I don't know where he is, why?"

"Because, Shawn, that call was from Detective Carter. Apparently, about ten minutes ago, Conner walked into the hospital and took Detective Lassiter. Now, do you have any idea where they could be?"

Shawn stared wide eyed at Chief Vick. He could not answer as his throat had gone dry and fear gripped him. All he could now see were the crime scenes of all the other police officers he had gone to after Conner had killed them.

"Shawn... Shawn." His dad's near panicked voiced flowed through to him. He now realised he was on the floor of Chief Vick's office with three very concerned faces staring at him.

Sitting upright, he shook his head. "Three days," was all he could say.

"Sorry, Shawn, what was that?"

He looked at Chief Vick as if she had gone mad. Shawn closed his eyes tightly, and then suddenly re-opened them, looking straight at her. He repeated the words. "Three days,” he said in a shaky voice. “He likes to torture his victims for three days before he kills them. Three days is all you have to find him before it is too late." And with that Shawn's world turned black. The last thing he heard before he became unconscious again was Chief Vick telling McNab to get an ambulance.


	12. Pineapples can be a Drug

Shawn came bounding down the hospital stairs. With a spring in his step and a smile on his face he looked like the cat that had just eaten the early bird. Overall, to look at him you would have guessed that he was a very happy person. A closer look at him and you could see his eyes were partly closed and they were darting back and forth, as if he was worried about something.

"Shawn! Slow down, please. You've just gotten out of hospital after collapsing; running ‘round like a two year old after drinking red cordial isn't good for you."

"Gus, I'm fine. I was just overwhelmed by certain images. You know what I'm like when I try to process too much information at once. Look, can we just talk this over in the car, please."

"Alright, let’s go. Where do you want to go, Shawn?"

“There are a few places I need to go, but, right now, I need to go to Dads. I've got to find out what he and the Chief were talking about and what he told her."

"Ok, Shawn, I’ll take you to your Dad’s, but on the way there, I want you to tell me everything, and I do mean everything!"

"Fine, Gus."

As the two friends got into the car Shawn paused and looked around. He could feel someone watching them. Not being able to see anyone suspicious, he quickly climbed in. The one thing he didn't need right now was to worry Gus.

Once they were in and buckled up, Gus started the car. Right! Now, Shawn, do you want a drink before we go?"

Shawn looked at his watch; it had been at least twelve hours since he had last taken his medication.

"Yeah, I could really go for some pineapple juice, do you know a good place, Gus?"

Gus turned his head slightly so that he could see Shawn and gave him the once over. He smiled and returned to watch the road.

"What?"

"Shawn, you and pineapples, really, sometimes I think that you'd die if you didn't get any."

Putting on the biggest grin he could muster, Shawn tried to look shocked, but failed. His eyes, were giving away the truth.

"Shawn... Give!"

"Give what, Gus?"

"Come on, Shawn, I know that look."

"What look?"

"The look that says you have a big secret and I have just guessed what it is. So give, Shawn, Now!"

With a big sigh Shawn turned away from his friend. He hated when he had to lie to someone he cared about, but this was different. It wasn't like Gus knowing that he had a medical condition was going to put him in any danger. Letting out another big sigh he turned back to him. He could see Gus frown and the worry on his friends face.

"Yes Gus, you're right, I do have a secret. But if I tell you... you must not tell anyone else. And I mean anyone, not even my dad, ok."

"What ever you want Shawn. You know that, unless it’s a really bad thing and then you know I will tell the right people, not just anyone."

"It’s not BAD, bad. Its, well I suffer from a very rare genetic disorder. My body doesn't produce a certain enzyme and without it I will die. The artificial substitute that I could take, wipes me out, literally. I mean, I can't think or see straight and I had no energy. But I did a bit of research and found out that pineapple had the enzyme in abundance and when I told the doctor about it and my obsession with pineapples he said that when the enzyme gets low, my body starts to crave it and that's why I love pineapple so much."

"Are you for real, Shawn?”

"Yes, for real, Gus! I really will die if I don't drink or eat pineapple. Go figure, as if I'm not already weird enough as it is."

"I can't believe you never told me. What did you think? I wouldn't want to be friends with you anymore?"

"No, it’s just...just that I'm weird enough with my eidetic memory and everything, I didn't want anyone to know. So are you going to tell my dad or what?"

"No, Shawn, I won't tell your dad. That is your job. So let’s go and get our drinks and get going to your dad's."

"Thanks, Gus, you’re the best, and then I'll let you know what happened and how I'm involved with the kidnapping of Detective Lassiter."

Gus just let out a low grown.


	13. Conner now has a Pair

On the way to his dad's, Shawn kept his promise and fills Gus in about the kidnapping of Detective Lassiter. Of course he left out the information about his job and what it involved. Gus sat there the whole time quietly listening, but when Shawn got to the interview with the Chief and the fact that he told her that he was psychic, well, Gut just lost it.

"What the hell were you thinking, Shawn, have you lost your mind? You’re not a psychic, there is no such thing as a psychic."

"Calm down, Gus," Shawn said with a laugh. "It went well. The Chief believes me, or at least she not going to throw me in jail at the moment."

"And this Conner, did you really love him or was he just one of your conquests gone wrong?"

"Gus! That hurts! No! Conner was not just a conquest, he was...I, I wouldn’t have married him if he was; nor had his child." That last part was said so quietly, that Gus nearly didn't hear him.

"You, you had a child with him. You’re a 'Shim'? Wow, I would have never guessed that. Boy or girl? Where is it now? What is its name?" Gus' mind was spinning with questions. Shawn had a child that he has never mentioned; why didn't he tell him. Where’s the child now? And the big one was, just who is this person next to me and do I ever know this Shawn at all?

"Whoa, Gus, slow down. She was a girl and her name was Misty, Misty Shane Spencer. Conner raped and killed her in front of me." Shawn closed his eyes tight to hold back the tears. But this was the wrong thing for him to do, as his mind decided to replay her death. Shawn’s eyes flew open and he started to gasp for air. Gus pulled the car over and rubbed Shawn's back to try to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, Shawn... So sorry! I didn't know, please take deep breaths. Shawn...!" Gus had not seen Shawn this bad in years. He knew with his memory the way it was, Shawn’s mind often sent him images of things he had seen. Sometimes, the attacks he had made Gus wonder what Shawn had seen and what really does he do out there on his own. "Shawn? Shawn! Are you ok?"

"Yes," was Shawn’s gasping reply. "Just give me a moment."

"Ok! Shawn, you would tell me if you’re involved in something bad, wouldn't you. I mean, if you were in some sort of trouble, you'd tell me, right?"

"Gus what do you think I'm done?" Shawn said with hurt in his voice.

"Nothing... I'm just saying that if you were in some type of trouble or you did something wrong, you'd tell me, wouldn't you, especially if you were getting hurt."

"Of course I would, Gus. You don't think I meant to bring this problem with me, do you?"

"No! No of course not! I know you wouldn't deliberately bring trouble with you, but, well, your track record does speak for itself."

"Thanks for that, Gus. I always knew you had a lot faith in me."

"Shawn, I..." Gus was stopping short at what he was going to say. The moment he had turned his head and saw his best friend smiling at him, he knew Shawn was joking.

"That's not fair, Shawn. I was really worried about you and what you were seeing."

"It's ok, Gus. The bad memories are getting less and less, and I try to change them to the good memories I have of her. Which aren't many, I was working a lot and was not at home as much as I would have liked to have been."

"How old was she?"

"Five. It was her birthday and I had come home early to surprise them. Well, wasn't I the one surprised at what I found? I just wish I had realised what was going on a lot earlier, so I could have saved her. She had golden blonde hair, which sat on her shoulders, with a slight wave in it. Her eyes shone like two sapphire blue crystals. She was so beautiful, Gus, and I let her down. I swear I was never going to let him hurt anyone else. And now he has taken a good man, just because I said I liked him. I've got to find him, Gus, and we need to find him now."

"So let’s get to your dads, but then what?"

"Then I need to...what the hell." Shawn's words were cut short by a loud crash when something hit the car. Suddenly Gus' door flew opened and he disappeared out of it. Shawn could hear Gus call his name, then nothing. By the time Shawn had gotten out of the car, Gus was laying face down on the ground. Standing over him was Conner. Shawn couldn’t move and Conner took this time moving towards him.

Conner stood in front of him. His slightly crooked smile and his deep blue eyes staring Shawn in the face brought back all the feelings he had for this man. The anger, hatred and love! Then came all the images of Misty and what he did to her and the officers as well as what he did to Shawn. All this information swarming around in his head made Shawn dizzy. The next thing he felt was Conner’s arms around him, leading him towards a car. Once Shawn was settled in the seat Conner leaned over him to do up his seat belt. 

Shawn felt Conner put his hand on his knee as he spoke "Don't worry, Shawn; I'll have you home soon. Then we will have some fun with your Detective friend."

The last thing Shawn saw was Gus getting to his feet. Then world went black.


	14. Shawn, Lassiter and Conner

Shawn's head throbbed. When he opened his eyes, he was grateful that it was dark. The only light was coming through a small window on the opposite side of the room he was in. But why was he here? Where was here? And how did he get here? They were the questions running around in his now pounding head.

Closing his eyes again, he placed his right hand to his temple. Concentrating hard he tried to remember what had happened. At first the pain in his head kept him from remembering anything. Then the pictures, oh god, the pictures flashed quickly through his mind. The news about the attack on Detective Lassiter! Hearing about Lassiter being taken from the hospital! Being in the car with Gus, then Gus on the ground and Conner standing over him! Then... oh what was next. Yes, Gus was standing up and he was ok. Unfortunately the information swimming around in his head made it to throb harder and made him dizzy. Shawn let out a small groan.

"Are you ok?"

Shawn froze. Did he really hear someone speak? It was not Gus' voice and he hoped that by staying still maybe who it was that spoke would go away.

"I said... Are! You! Ok?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"I'm Head Detective Carlton Lassiter, of Santa Barbara, and you?"

"I'm Shawn... Shawn Spencer. Funny thing, I was just asked to help find you. Is Conner here?”

“Conner?” Lassiter replied as he thought about whom this man meant. “Oh you mean our captor. No he's out at the moment. Said something about dealing with a black lump of trash..."

“Gus.”

Lassiter was cut off as Shawn shouted out Gus' name and jumped to his feet. He then promptly fell straight back down with a thump. As he started to get back up two very strong arms wrapped around him! Following the guidance of these arms and the man they were attached to, he found himself sitting in a chair under the window.

Lassiter quickly looked Shawn over; he could see that Conner had used him as a punching bag before he had dumped him down the stairs. Although the fall was a rough one, it seemed this man named Spencer had not broken even one bone in his body.

Shawn sat still as the man that he was responsible for getting bashed and kidnapped, slowly ran his good hand over his body. He knew that Lassiter was just looking for injures but that didn't help the fact that his body was reacting to the touches.

Suddenly a sharp burning pain shot up through his chest and down his right arm. And although he tried not to, he let out a cry of pain. Not only did it solve his private problem, it told him that Conner had kept his promise. A promise of what he was going to do to Shawn when he got his hand on him again.

Lassiter looked at him apologetic as he started to pull off his shirt. The shirt was red and that is why he had not noticed the blood till now. He could feel it sticking to his fingers, staining them. He turned to put the shirt down on the ground. He was worried about what he was going to see when he turned back around. From what he had seen so far of this 'Spencer', there was not much of him and there was a lot of blood soaked into his shirt.

As he turned he was greeted by the most beautiful green eyes. They were watching him, studying him. He could see his own reflection in them and it was not a view he wanted to see. It was showing a tired old man with bruises all over his face. But what got to him the most was that these eyes were not showing any fear. There was a small sign of pain, but no fear.

He broke the connection between them and moved his gazed down to the right shoulder. What he saw made his heart stop. Right above the spot where the heart is, was a deep cut. Blood was seeping from it, not too fast but enough to colour the chest red. Picking up the shirt he had removed, he tore it so it was long enough too wrapped around Shawn's chest to try and stop the bleeding.

He could feel Shawn's eyes on him and for the first time he was glad the room was dark, as he was sure he was red in the face, but not from Shawn's blood, but his own as he knew he was blushing. As he continued his check over Shawn's body for more injures, he realised that, except for exchanging names and a bit about where their captor was, they had not said much to each other at all.

"Who is Gus?"

"Sorry?"

"When you asked me where Conner was, I said he was gone to deal with something and you jumped up calling out the name Gus. So who is Gus?"

"Gus is just my best friend in the whole wide world. He was, he was with me when Conner... I mean he was getting up as Conner drove away. God I hope Gus had the sense to go back to the police station or to my dad's and get help."

Shawn had said this more to himself then to Lassiter, and when a faraway look appeared in Shawn's eyes Lassiter got worried again although he was not sure why! Even though this man before him was small and skinny, Lassiter could also see that he took care of himself. But the amount of blood that he must have lost from the wound should have drained his strength. But he was wide awake and full of, Lassiter was not sure what it was, but he could sense there was something there Maybe it was confidence, maybe arrogance, he was not sure, but it was definitely there.

"Why did you say that you were asked to help find me?"

Shawn flinched as he realised that he was going to have to fill the Detective in with what had happened and how he was involved. Bracing himself for the onslaught, he took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm the reason Conner attacked you, gave you that broken arm. I’m not too sure why he kidnapped you, though. I came to Santa Barbara to catch up with my dad and Gus. I guess Conner had followed me and when I was talking to Gus about you and why you were looking for me at the cafe, I said a few things about you, and Conner, well he must have thought that I, we were like going out or something. Anyway, he attacked you and then took you out of the hospital. After I heard what had happened I passed out and after I left the hospital, Gus was taking me to my dad's to find out what he had told Chief Vick. But we never got there as Conner attacked us and I ended up here and I have no idea what happened to Gus. Did you get all of that?"

"Yes."

Shawn could not see Lassiter very well in the dark room and this itself put him on guard as he could not tell what the good detective was thinking.

"Look, if you’re going to hit me will you please get it over and done with so we can see if we can find a way out of here."

"Why would I hit you?" 

"I'm the reason you’re here, that's why!"

"I'm here because some nut wanted me here. He's the one who kidnapped me not you and just because you said something, does not give him the right to make you feel like it's your fault for what he has done."

"Ok... I guess you’re right, so how about we get out of here before he comes back?"

As Shawn was saying this he had started to lean forward, so he could get up. What he was not expecting was Lassiter to turn his head around to face him at that same moment. Before either one of them realised it their lips touched. Suddenly the room was full of light.

"And you tried to tell me you had no idea who my Shawn was, Detective Lassiter. Well it seems that you two do know each other after all and you’re going to pay for trying to steal him away from me. As for your part, Shawn, you’re going to watch. I'm going to show you all the new things I have learned to do. And the best thing is, although they cause extreme pain, they won't kill you. Shall we start?"

And with his gun pointed at them, Conner moved down the stairs towards them.


	15. Which Way to Go

Shawn knew. He just knew with all his heart there was no way, no time, for him to put himself in between Conner and Lassiter. But he still had to try. Even though he and the detective were employed by the same people, in Shawn’s mind Lassiter was still a civilian. A civilian who needed to be protected.

Unfortunately for Shawn it was not only his body that let him down. Instead of his usual 'cop mode' train of thought, he shocked himself by thinking, 'I've got to stop Conner from hurting my Lassie'. When he pulled himself up about it, it made him hesitate. This caused a few seconds delay in his reaction, which allowed Conner to close the distance between them. By the time he had recovered, the protest from the wounds on his chest and the lost of blood slowed his reaction time.

Conner had grabbed Lassiter by the shirt turning both of them around which had put himself in between Lassiter and the now rising Shawn. This made Shawn collide with Conner’s back sending him flying down to the floor. As he fell, he put out his arms. Even before the impact he knew that the angle was wrong and the end result was going to be a broken arm.

The noise of his braking bone was loud enough that both Conner and Lassiter heard it. Being the Satanist Conner was he didn't even turn around. The blood drained from Lassiter's face as he saw the smile that had formed on Conner's face.

"Oh, you are so predictable, Shawn. I knew you would try and stop me. But you couldn't stop me the last time and you won't this time. I'm really going to have fun with your man here."

"Leave him alone, Conner. I'm the one you want."

"Oh yes, you are, aren't you! But to hurt you for what you did, I'm going to hurt the people you care for, starting with him, then your dad or maybe that delicious chocolate one..."

"You'll never touch him." And with surprising strength, Shawn lifted himself up off the ground and attacked Conner. As they all fell down Conner's gun went off. There was a cry of pain and then, silence. All three lay still. The only noise to be heard was a few shallow breaths.

Mean while Henry and Gus were in Chief Vick’s office. As she entered they noticed that Detective's Carter and O'Hara were following her.

"Right, Mr Spencer, please tell me why you came rushing into my station like a bull in a china shop."

"Shawn has been taken," was all Henry said. The chief then turned to Gus, who looked like he had been hit by a truck.

"Would either of you gentlemen like to explain that a little bit better?"

Gus swallowed hard; this was going to be second time he had to tell what had happened. Because his car was not in any condition to drive, he ran to Henry's. After a rushed explanation, Henry put Gus into his truck and drove to the place where the car was left, but he did not get out. He turned to Gus and told him the best way to help Shawn was to go straight to the station and tell them what had happened. He just wanted to get back to the spot he had last seen his best friend. The image of an unconscious Shawn being put into a car and driven away, still burned in his mind. And now the time had come to relive it.

"Well," Gus said, finally starting to explain what happened. “After Shawn got out of the hospital he wanted to go and see his dad. As we were driving Shawn was explaining to me what was going on and I had pulled off the road for a few moments. Next thing we knew something had hit the car and then a hand grabbed me and I was being dragged out. I felt something hit me and as I was getting up from the ground I saw Shawn being put into a car and driven away. I could not drive my car as two the tires were flat so I ran to Mr. Spencer's house and he brought me here. The man who put Shawn into the car was him." Gus raised a hand and pointed to a poster on the wall.

Everyone in the room turned to look in the direction Gus had pointed. It was at the poster of Conner. Shaking her head Chief Vick looked at the two Detectives.

"Did you find anything at the hospital about the disappearance of Detective Lassiter?"

O'Hara stepped forward, her hands were shaking a little bit as she read out the information in her note book.

"It appears that a man matching the description of Conner Master, entered the hospital at about four thirty in the afternoon on the day in mention. He proceeded to remove Detective Lassiter from his room even though some of the hospital staff tried to stop him and called security. But by the time security got there both men had disappeared."

O'Hara stepped back and Detective Carter stepped forward.

"Apparently, Master had threatened the staff that if they stopped him, he would blow up the hospital. They took the threat as real and had backed away."

"So we have a cold blooded murderer out there with two hostages and if we believe young Mr. Spencer, they only have three days, even less in Lassiter’s case, for us to find them before we're looking for bodies. And we have no idea where to start."

She gave Henry a sad look, but he did not see it as he was in deep though.

"I suggest you contact police Commissioner Master again. If I remember right they used to live here and his family has property in the area."

Chief Vick nodded her head at Henry. Everybody in the room watched as she reached for the phone and dialled the number.


	16. Run Lassie, Run

Shawn let out a small moan as he rolled over. His head hurt and so did the rest of his body. What had happened? Where was he? They were the questions running around his now pounding head. Then the images hit him. The beating after Conner had gotten him back to his hide out, the talk with Detective Lassiter, all of them falling and gun going off.

Quickly he opened his eyes, then immediately regretted it as the light shot a sharp pain through them. Fighting off the nauseous feeling he looked around. There, right next to him, lay two bodies. Detective Lassiter was crushed under Conner and under them, was a pool of blood.

In a panic, he pushed Conner off and grabbed hold of Lassiter. Quickly looking him over he could see where the bullet had hit. Looking over at Conner to see that he was not awake Shawn realise that Conner was also shot. His wound was through his left arm and then the bullet must have gone through and into Lassiter's stomach. Gently tapping Lassiter on the cheek Shawn tried to wake him up. When this failed, he decided to do something with Conner. 

While he was distracted looking around the room for something to tie Conner up, a hand grabbed him. Turning around ready to punch and fight his way out of the grip, he was surprised to find it was Lassiter instead of Conner.

"Spencer? What happened?"

"Well..." Shawn looked Lassiter up and down trying to work out how he was standing with a bullet in his gut. Then staring him straight in the eyes he could see the mixture of pain and determination.

"Well what?"

"Sorry,” Shawn said shaking his head. “Well, Conner was facing you and pointing the gun at you. So I tried to tackle him, but instead we all fell down and the gun went off. It must have gone through his arm and into you."

"He's still out cold. Why didn't you leave and get help?"

"I was not going to leave you with him again and you were too heavy for me to lift in my condition."

"Well, let’s just get out of here."

"I can't just leave him to get away again. I'm trying to find something to tie him up with."

A moan from behind them both, had them looking in the same direction. Conner was moving.

"Let’s forget about tying him up and get out of here. Now, Spencer."

"Lassie, you lean on me and we'll head towards the door."

"Lassie,” Lassiter growled. “My name is Lassiter and..."

"And, right now is not the right time to have a go at me about what to call you."

"Ok, I agree. Let’s go." 

Just as they reached the top of the stairs Conner called out.

"Get back here now or I'll shoot."

Glancing back, they could see the gun aimed at them and Shawn knew Conner would shoot. So his next moved surprised even Conner. Shawn shoved Lassiter through the door yelling to him to run, just run and not to look back. He then turned and launched himself into the air at Conner.

Conner didn't have time to react and get out of the way and as Shawn’s full weight hit him, the gun once again went off. The bullet just hitting the door frame above Lassiter's head! Looking down, he saw Shawn get up, but so did Conner. The gun lay on the ground between them. It was now a standoff.

Meanwhile Chief Vick was just getting off the phone with police Commissioner Master. She turned towards the people waiting to hear what he had to say, she slowly looked at each one in turn. At last her eyes fell onto Henry Spencer.

"The commissioner said to say hello to you, Henry. He also said that they had sold most of the property when they left."

Henry hung his head. This is not how he had imagine how Shawn was going to die, a bike accident, some sort of disease with the way he played the field. Anything, but at the hand of a mad man! Especially not one he knew when they were kids. ‘When they were kids...’ Henry lifted his head and everyone thought he had lost his mind. For he had a great big smile on his face! Turning to Gus he stared for a moment, thinking.

"Gus, where is that place you and Shawn use to go when Shawn didn't want to do his chores."

Gus stopped breathing for a moment. He remembered the place well. It was dark, damp and way to quiet for his liking. Gus swallowed hard. "That's...that's the old pump station."

Henry's face changed very quickly when he heard this.

"The old pump station. Gus the reason you two were to stay away from there is because there is an unexploded WW2 bomb up there, somewhere. But if it's the same place where Shawn and Conner use to go to, that is where we'll find them.


	17. Lassie's Escape and a Bomb

Detective Lassiter lay at the top of the stairs looking down at the two men. They stood there with a loaded gun lying on the floor between them and they never took the eyes off each other. Or at least that's what he thought. Shawn had taken a quick glance his way to see him still up there.

"Get the hell out of here, Detective."

"I... I can't just leave you."

"Yes, you can. Right now you're the only one who can get help. Now get out of here." And for some god for given reason, the thought of keeping his cover safe, Shawn placed his fingers to his temple and added. "Just go, Detective. Trust me, I'm psychic. I see you getting help and saving me. So go."

"You’re what...?"

“Look, just don't worry about it, just go."

With that Lassiter got up and headed for the outer door, leaving the two men in their standoff. As he half stumbled, half ran out the door the bright sun light blinded him. He stumbled towards a group of rocks that was out by the road. Looking around he started to wonder how the hell he was supposed to get help when he had no idea where he was. As a wave of both pain and nausea washed over him he leaned up against the nearest rock.

Just after the earth stopped spinning and threatening to throw him to the ground a very familiar sound hit his ears. At first it was faint and far off, but the more he strained to hear it, the closer it got. It was sirens and they were definitely getting closer and with all his might he prayed that they were coming to where he was. As he turned around to see if he could work out where they were and where they were heading, his hand slipped off the rock on to something different. It had a rough surface and felt like it was moving.

As he turned back around, his eyes widened as he realised that the strange object looked like a bomb from the war. Then it hit him; the movement he could feel was the bomb, ticking under his hand. At first he couldn't do anything then his instincts kicked in. He turned and tried to run as fast as his wounded body let him. Now he was praying that the vehicles that the sirens belonged to were far enough away not to be hit by the explosion.

As he heard the explosion go off he tried to duck behind a tree, but he was not quick enough. The next thing he felt was a burning sensation over his back, and then he was thrown forward onto the ground and knocked unconscious. Lucky after all this time and the fact that the bomb was half buried in the ground the explosion was contained.

Just a little way up the road there was a fleet of police cars with lights and sirens blaring, racing towards the old pump station, when they heard the explosion. The convoy came to a screeching halt. Piling out of the cars the officers stood, mouths wide opened in shock.

"Looks, like that bomb of yours has been found, Henry. We need to get the bomb squad out here to confirm that the area is clear before we go in," the Chief said.

"Not with my boy's life on the line we're not. I'm going in now and I’ll hit anyone who tries to stop me," Henry shouted, his voice filled with anger.

"Henry, I know how you feel, my Detective is possibly in there as well, but we need to make sure that there is no more danger."

"There's not! There was only one bomb that never exploded around here and if we're right, that was it. Now get out of my way, Karen."

Then there was a hand on his shoulder. Turning around expecting to see an officer there he was surprise to find Gus.

"I'm with you, sir. Shawn is my best friend and if you say it’s safe, it’s safe."

Henry nodded at Gus and turned back towards Karen.

"Alright, Henry, it’s against my better judgement but we will go in. BUT, if anyone starts to feel sick or it looks too dangerous we pull out, ok."

"Ok."

“Right, men, we are going in but from this point on I am only asking for volunteers to continue with me. I will not think any less of anyone who decides to stay behind. So, if you’re coming with us, get in to your cars and let’s go."

Chief Vick smiled as she got into her car, as every officer had also returned to their cars. She had told them truthfully that she would not think of any less of them if they stayed behind, but it made her proud that they all decided to go.

As their cars went through the gates of the old pump station, they just missed Lassiter as he lay beside the road. Once inside the gates, they stopped their cars and got to look around. The officer nearest the road saw a body lying by a tree.

"Chief Vick, there's a body over here," Officer McNab called out.

The swarm of officers made it hard for her to get to him. She gasped in shock as the burnt form of her detective came into view.

"He's alive!" shouted McNab.

"Got to get help? Got too ..."

"Easy, Detective," Chief Vick said softly.

"Detective Lassiter, do you know where a young man by the name of Shawn Spencer is?" Henry tried to ask calmly but could not keep the desperation from his voice. Lassiter tried to get up, but a gentle hand held him down. Slowly he turned to look at the person talking to him and nodded.

"Yes!"

"Where...?"

Turning a little bit more and pointed to where the door he had exited should have been.

"He and the crazy man are in there." Then his eyes grew wide, really wide, as he realised that where the door was supposed to be, lay a large pile of rubble. Then he was hit with a wave of pain and his world turned black.


	18. Inside the Pump Station

No one knew what to do. Some of the officers were looking at the detective lying on the ground. The rest were looking to where he had only just pointed. The only people to do anything were Henry and Gus. They had run to the rubble at the building and were in the process of trying to remove the blockage from what was once the doorway.

Meanwhile, inside the pump station Shawn was picking himself up off the ground. As a wave of pain shot across his chest Shawn stumbled and fell back onto his knees. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, he waited for the pain to ease. Trying to remember what had happened, Shawn slowly rewound his memory.

The last thing he remembered was standing in the cellar facing Conner. The gun was on the floor in between them and he was yelling at Detective Lassiter to get out and get help. He recalled Lassiter moving and then he was out of sight, leaving himself and Conner alone. He made a quick mental check that he had completed all of his assignments and all of his reports were done. The only one he hadn't finished was Lassiter's. He knew he was not getting out of this alive, but he was going to make sure he took Conner with him.

The room started to fill up with the sound of sirens and this was just enough to catch Conner's attention. Shawn took advantage of this moment of Connor’s lack of concentration and dove for the gun, but he was not quick enough. Conner followed suit and their hands reached the gun at the same time but Conner, being just that little bit closer, had the advantage and the gun was his.

As Conner stood up, so did Shawn but he came up fighting. First he tackled him, and then started to hit him in the face. The fall once again knocked the gun from Conner’s hand and sent it flying. Just as it hit the ground several things happened. The gun went off and the bullet was heading straight at them. The second was an earth shattering noise as the roof started to fall in. In the confusion, Conner had gotten the upper hand over Shawn and had sent him flying backwards into the nearby wall.

As the pain eased so did the flash backs. Shawn opened his eyes and tried to look through the blackness at where he last saw Conner, but it was too dark and he could see nothing. Although in his heart he prayed that Conner was dead and the nightmare was over, he called out to him just to find out. But he got no reply.

His head started to hurt and hurt bad. Putting his hand to his head, Shawn felt the blood running down his face from the open wound. Trying to stand up he also started to feel weird. That's when it hit him, it must have been at lease twelve hours since the last time he'd had any of his medication. As his world started to turn black, he shivered with fear as the voice he'd prayed so hard not to hear ever again entered his ears.

"Sleep for now, Shawn. I'll be here when you wake up then we will have some fun."

As he slipped deeper and deeper in to the darkness Shawn was praying that he would never wake up.

Outside, the pace had picked up. Once the Chief had gotten over her shock, she started to give everyone orders. A group was sent off to get the bomb squad, as well as to take the unconscious detective to the waiting ambulance. The rest were sent to either clear the area or help clear the entrance to the pump station.

About half an hour later they broke through. As Henry took the lead with as much light as they could find they started the search for Shawn. Calling his name and not getting a response, Henry felt the invisible hands tighten around his heart and lungs. As they came to the door that led down to the cellar, their steps slowed. As the lights started to scan the cellar they fell onto a sight no one thought they would ever see and prayed they never would again.

For Henry those invisible hands had gotten way too tight and were crushing the blood and air out of him. The next thing he knew, real hands are grabbing him to stop him from falling down into the cellar were the lifeless form of his son lay with Conner leaning over him.

"Shawn."

Gus' single word was the last thing Henry heard as his legs gave way and he fell towards the ground.


	19. Henry Finds Out the Truth

Henry lay in his hospital bed, slowly coming to. In a dreamlike state, his mind took him back to the scene that put him there is the first place.

They stopped when they came across the door that led down to the cellar. The officers in the lead shone their lights into the dark space. The light fell onto a sight no one should see, especially a father. For Henry, it felt like a pair of hands had gone through his skin and was crushing the life out of him. The next thing he knew hands are grabbing him from behind, to stop him from getting down into the cellar to the lifeless form of Shawn lying on the floor.

Lying there, as still as if he was dead, Shawn himself looked like he was just sleeping. Leaning over him was Conner, holding a knife at Shawn's throat. At first it looked like it was going to be a hostage situation but then one of the officers moved his torch and what it fell on made everybody’s heart stop. A long piece of metal bar had fallen from the roof, piercing straight through Conner's body and from the angle it was in, it had also hit Shawn.

"Shawn."

The word come from somewhere behind him. Gus's single word entering Henry's mind was the last thing he heard as his legs gave way. He could feel himself falling, and then his world went black.

When Henry came to, he was in a hospital bed with Chief Karen Vick sitting nearby.

"Henry, thank god, we were getting worried about you."

"What?" Henry tried to sit up, but Karen held him down.

"Easy, Henry, don't try to sit up yet. Let me get the doctor first, ok?"

Henry nodded and watched her leave the room. A few moments later Chief Vick and the doctor returned.

"Good morning, Mr Spencer. My name is Dr Imran and I have been treating you since you were brought in. Do you know why you are here?"

Henry thought about what the doctor asked him for a few seconds, then his world came crashing down again as his mind was attacked by the images of Shawn in the cellar. Nodding his head, Henry answered the doctor. "After we found my son I fainted." They were few words, but the emotions behind them spoke very loudly. 

The doctor nodded his head and continued. "At first we thought that you might have had a heart attack, but we have ruled that out. I'm guessing the high emotional situation you were in just got a bit too much to handle. Any questions...?"

"Only three..."

"And they are?"

"One, can I sit up?" It wasn’t the first question he had, but he was too afraid of the answer to ask the real one just yet. 

"Yes. Of course you can." And with that the doctor helped Henry into a sitting position.

"Two! When can I get out of here?"

"If you improve on a few things, like your blood pressure comes down a bit and you have no more fainting spells, you could get out of here this afternoon. And number three?"

"How is my son, Shawn?" As Henry was saying this he was looking straight at Karen.

"I'm sorry, Mr Spencer, I'm not his doctor. I will go and see if he is available and ask him to come and talk to you." Henry nodded and the doctor left. Henry never once took his eyes off Karen.

"Is he alive?"

"Yes!"

"What happened after...?”

"You mean after you left us the way you did?"

"Yes."

"After you blacked out you started to fall through the door. Luckily a few officers already had a hold of you and stopped you from hitting the ground. After we had gotten you out of there, I took the remaining officers down into the cellar to get a better look."

"Go on!"

"When we reached Shawn and Conner we got a better look at the bar and where it had hit." Pausing for a moment Chief Vick looked at Henry's face. Trying to see if she could tell what he was feeling or thinking! Failing to work out either she continued. "The bar had gone right through Conner’s right shoulder, down into Shawn's left side, and to the floor. Unfortunately what we didn't realise, Henry, was that Conner was awake, let alone alive."

"What...? Henry dropped his eyes looking at his lap, but not really seeing anything. He went over the image that was burned into his mind. There was no way he could have been still alive after that. "What did you do?"

"Not much. He was still holding the knife at Shawn's neck and since we could see that Shawn was still breathing, there was not much we could do but ask what he wanted. 

“What did he want?”

“He wanted us to cut him free and let him go. When I told him he was being stupid, that he was in no position to demand anything, he just laughed. I then informed him that just about my entire station was either in here with us or outside waiting for the ambulance. He just raised his head and..." Chief Vick stopped, took a deep breath and then looked at her hands, before she continued. 

"He...he smiled at me. At lease I think it was a smile. He then moved his other hand revealing a trigger mechanism, saying that he had a bomb that would level the whole place and that the bomb was big enough to cause damage up to half a mile away. I couldn't take the chance that he wasn't telling the truth, Henry." She looked up straight into Henry's eyes. Tears built up from the stress of the last forty eight hours threatening to spill over. They glistened and sparkled, reflecting the emotions she was trying so hard to fight back.

"I just couldn't take that chance. He was still holding the trigger with one hand and the knife at Shawn's neck with the other, as my officers cut as close as possible to his body setting him free. Once it was done he kissed Shawn and whispered something into his ear, he then got up to leave. I asked him how I would know that he wasn’t going to set off the bomb once he was clear. He pointed to Officer McNab, saying he was to go with him and that he’d give him the trigger when they were in the car. That way if it went off, our deaths would then be on Buzz’s hands not his. When he was far enough away from us and when he knew he was safe he would tell McNab where the bomb was. Then he would send him back to us."

"Did he?"

"When he got outside, he went up to the ambulance and got treated. They wanted to take him to hospital but he refused. Then he and McNab got into the car and he kept his word. Truth be told, there was no bomb. By the time McNab got back, they were loading Shawn into the ambulance that you were already in; ready to leave as soon as I gave them the word. As soon as McNab told us there was no bomb, I sent the ambulance off and we started to look for Conner from where McNab had left him, but there was no sign of him."

Henry had stayed quiet as Chief Vick told him all of this.

“It's my fault, Henry, my fault that a cold bloody murderer is back on the streets again.”

"No it's not. You had to think about the safety of your officer's, as well as Shawn’s and anybody else nearby. You did the right thing, no matter what you say you played it right, Karen. You did well."

Just then another doctor came in.

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Yes."

"I'm Dr Marsh, I'm Shawn's Doctor. He's your son, correct?"

"Yes, how is he?"

"Mr. Spencer, I'm not going to lie to you. It's not good. Your son has a lot of damage. Apart from his pre-existing medical conditions, he has a deep cut over his heart as well as cuts and bruising from what looks like a severe beating. He has taken a bullet to the head, along with fractures to the skull, from what looks like a blow from falling debris and a broken arm. We have operated to remove the bullet and piece of metal, which at the moment is the best we can do for him. Right now it is up to your son and how much of a fighter he is. The next 24 hours will tell and I'm afraid that even if he makes it through this delicate time period, there is the risk that he could be in a coma and never wake up. If he does wake up there is a high possibility that he could have mild to severe brain damage and he could have the mind of a child. Do you understand all that, Mr. Spencer?"

"Yes I do. I need to get out of here and go and see him. Then I need to tell him to bloody give up and die."

"What! No, I don't think you do understand me. Mr. Spencer..."

"No, Doctor, I understood you fine. What you don't understand is that you don't know my boy. He already acts like he is a five year old, so no worries there. But if I go in there and tell him I want him to fight for his life and live, he'd do the opposite just to spite me. So by telling him to give up and die he'd just do the opposite. Get it?"

"Ok, I do understand your logic. I have a son who does the same thing and, Chief Vick, don't be surprised if the little one you’re carrying does the same to you, too.” She looks back to Henry and nods. “If you don’t have any other questions, Mr. Spencer, I’ll see you later.” Henry shook his head. “Well then, I’ll keep you updated on your son’s condition. Good day."

"Good bye, Doctor," Henry said.

"Well, Henry, I'll come and check up on you later. I've got to go and check on my Head Detective."

"How is he?"

"He should be out of surgery by now. He was also shot as well as bashed, but they were more concerned about the burns and shrapnel he got from the bomb, than anything else."

Karen leaned over and gave Henry a hug. After she left, he laid there shaking his head at the day’s events. His mind wandered to Conner and somehow he knew, just knew that someday they were going to see Conner again and when they do... He just didn't want to think about it.


	20. Henry's Decision.

Henry sat beside Shawn's bed. Today marked the one year anniversary since Shawn went into the coma. The first few weeks, Henry did not leave Shawn's side; even his mother had left after the first few days, saying that she had to get back to work. Then slowly so did the others. Oh they still visit just like Henry. Every day someone comes to visit; Gus and Detective Lassiter, the most.

When Henry visits he sits there telling Shawn what has happened in the world and in his life. But today is not one of those days. Today, Henry is here to give his consent to turn off the life support system, which has been keeping his boy alive.

Putting his head down, Henry started to think about the life that his son had lived. Clenching his fists tightly, he felt the anger swell up inside of him. The anger for what he did to Shawn. What his wife did to him and all of the lies and deceits that Shawn had been living to keep everyone but himself happy.

Today he just started to talk. He started to apologise to Shawn for the way his life turned out and he apologise for the decision he had to make today. He still remembered his first thoughts about Shawn, when Madeleine had told him she was pregnant. It was just pure shock; oh, they had talked about it. But he thought that they had come to the same conclusion that right at that moment, right in the middle of their careers was not the right time to bring a child into their lives. Well, how wrong he was; there was his wife sitting right in front of him telling him he was going to be a father. An argument began over who was going to look after the child and Madeleine said she would. So the first seeds of resentment had started in Henry's mind about this child that had already caused problems in his perfect life.

Henry shook his head as he went on to tell Shawn how he couldn't even be born on the right date. He had decided to be born one week early. Henry was at a stake out and could not just leave, which caused its own problems, as Henry was thinking about what was happening at the hospital and the suspect nearly, got away.

By the time he got there, he was told to wait in the waiting room as the doctor wanted to see him first. He sat there for about fifteen minutes wondering what was going on, before the doctor finely saw him. Apparently something had gone wrong, Shawn had been in the breech position which had caused internal bleeding and Madeleine was in surgery right now to stop it. They said that he could see his son if he wanted to.

Not thinking he nodded and was lead away to a room with lots of babies in it. He looked at them all, trying to see this...this thing that had hurt his beautiful wife. They brought over a crib with a small thing in it, wrapped in a blue blanket. Henry couldn’t work out how something so small could hurt someone so much. Then their eyes meet and Henry knew, somehow, he just knew that this child was going to need a lot of time. He shook his head and turned away, hoping to hear how Madeleine was doing. The seed of resentment had taken root.

At first it was hard adjusting to having a baby around, especially when you had hated the idea from the word go. But in time they had found a common ground. Then, when Shawn was about three, they had realised that Shawn was special and after a few test, it was revealed that Shawn had an eidetic memory, just like his mother. Now Henry started to take interests in him, as he could see the possibility of him becoming a great cop with the right type of training. But Madeleine was having none of it.

When Shawn was four and a half Madeleine left both Shawn and Henry to pursue a job opportunity. Now Henry was left with this child he never wanted. So he could work, he had asked his neighbours to look after Shawn. Not long after this happened Shawn had started to behave... funny. Henry just put it down to his mother leaving. How wrong he was. Thinking about it now, the signs were there to be seen but he just didn't see them.

When Shawn met and brought Gus home for the first time, Henry could only think 'here we go again'. Shawn couldn't keep friends for long; two weeks had been the longest. So after the forth week he was just taking it day by day, waiting for the crash and burn that never came. He was glad that when the time had come to tell Shawn that his mother and he were getting a divorce that Shawn had Gus to turn to.

When Shawn was seven Henry decide it was time to start training him. At first Henry was easy on him but since Shawn's concentration was hard to hold, Henry started to push harder and harder. Before long everything they did together was to train Shawn in one way or another.

Then Shawn started to disappear, at first just a few hours, then days on end. So when he went missing for a week when he was ten, no one, not even Gus, really noticed. But when he came back, there was hell to pay. Shawn started to play up badly and Gus seemed to be the only one who could calm him. Then he snapped. He became jumpy and regressed into a child like state of mind. He also became obsessed with eating pineapple.

Henry let out a little laugh at that thought. How did Shawn's obsession for pineapples become a life or death matter? Who would think that our own bodies could work out and find something that it needed to survive.

When Shawn was sixteen, Henry was on his back about dating girls. Shawn had told him that he was gay and was not interested in them. Henry told him straight out, that he was not gay just lazy and he needed to get out there and date someone. Well Henry hit the roof when the first person Shawn brought home was a boy. Henry practically threw the poor boy out the front door. That day Shawn and Henry had their biggest fight ever.

He didn't see Shawn for a few days after that. But when he did, something had happened. Shawn was scared and he was hanging out with Gus as much as possible. Henry confronted Shawn about what had happened. He thought that Shawn had been raped and he asked him straight out; Shawn's answer left him speechless. It wasn't Shawn that had been raped but Gus. He had gone looking for Shawn and ran in to the boy Shawn had been with. Shawn had walked in on the attack. He had pulled him off Gus and beaten the hell out of him. As Shawn left to see Gus, he had whispered, 'I wished someone had been there for me.' Henry never connected what Shawn had said until after he left when he was seventeen.

Just after that Shawn started to date girls, lots of girls. Then just after he turned seventeen he asked to borrow the pickup to go on a date. Henry had said no, but Shawn took it anyway. Henry just wanted to teach him a lesson. A night in jail should do the trick. What a surprise Henry got when he came in the next day to find out Shawn had spent the night with a child molester. Not just any child molester, but the next door neighbour he used to leave Shawn with when Madeleine had left. Then all the pieces fell into place; Shawn's behaviour, the disappearances. God how could he be so blind, but by then Shawn was gone.

He got reports from Gus as to Shawn’s whereabouts and occasionally a post card from Shawn himself. Then just over a year ago Shawn appeared on his bike across the road from his house. At first he thought he was seeing things. How grateful he was when he found out he wasn't.

Then, when Henry got to sit down with Shawn to talk, all he gets are bits and pieces about his life. The next thing he knows he's being called into the office of the Chief of Police. When he arrives Shawn is sitting there as if nothing was wrong. The Chief asked Shawn to leave and asked him if what the Police Commissioner had told her was right. Was Shawn a psychic? What else could Henry say but yes.

Two days after the whole Conner mess, the commissioner arrived at Henry's place and informed him that Shawn was an undercover cop. He explained that Shawn specialised in finding crooked cops and passed the information on to internal affairs. Because of the nature of his job, no one else will know what he did. On a personal note though, the commissioner told Henry that Shawn had married his son Conner who turned out to be a cold blooded killer. He even killed their baby daughter, Misty, in front of Shawn.

He shook hands with Henry and said that he would be there if Henry or Shawn ever needed him. So Henry now was just waiting for everybody to arrive to say their goodbyes.

He looked at Shawn's lifeless body lying there. Once again he hung his head only this time in a silent prayer, begging that God not take his son away so he could somehow make it up to him for all he had done to him. 

Gus was the first to arrive.


	21. Gus Comes to Say Goodbye

Gus walked into his best friend’s hospital room. He didn't want to be here, not today. Today is the day they will lose Shawn. Today, Shawn will be leaving him again, only this time he won’t be coming back. Gus stopped and looked at Henry sitting beside Shawn's bed. This Henry was not the man he grew up knowing. The man he both respected and feared was gone, replaced by a shadow of what use to be. Henry had lost weight and he was pale from the stress of the last year. Now the strong and forcefully person who had trained and drilled into Shawn to show no emotions, was now a tired and broken man. A man who had to make the worst decision any parent would ever have to make. To turn off his only child’s, his only son's, life support system and let him die. In many people’s minds this was murder and right now Gus could not disagree.

"Gus."

"Mr. Spencer."

"Please, come on in, Gus. I'll leave you two alone for a while."

"Thank you, Mr. Spencer. Sir, do we really need to do this. I mean, he might still wake up. I..."

"It's alright, Gus. I keep asking myself if, if I'm doing the right thing as well. I just pray to god that I am." With that, Henry walked out leaving Gus alone with the lifeless form of Shawn. 

Gus watches him leaves then takes the seat that Henry had just vacated. Taking Shawn's hand into his own, Gus just bowed his head in a short prayer. Then he started to cry.

“Damn it, Shawn, why. Why the hell did you do it? Why did you come into my world just to leave it like this? Damn you.”

“I still remember the first day we meet. I was cornered by the school bully and his gang. I was scared, curled up just waiting for the blows to start. Then I heard a voice saying 'excuse me, coming through'. When you got to me you didn't even look at them, you just bent down and asked me if I wanted to play with you. I looked at them and then back at you. I still laugh at you saying 'Oh don't worry about them, they don't want to play'. You put out your hand and I took it. Pushing your way back through the group you lead me away from the fear they had caused, into a different fear. The one I called the Shawn fear factor. They just stood there looking at us moving away from them.” 

Gus stopped to take a breath, and then he continued.

“Once we were far away from them you just turned to me with a great big smile and said. ‘Hi, my name is Shawn, Shawn Spencer, what’s yours' When I told you it was Burton Guster, you shook your head and told me straight out, that was a stupid name and that while we were friends you were going to call me Gus. When I went to protest you just held up your hand and said that all of your friendships ended within two weeks, as you were too strange for people to handle. Well, Shawn, this is the longest two weeks I’ve ever known, what happened, Shawn. Did we really need each other that much?” Gus took a deep breath before continuing.

 

“I mean throughout our whole school life you were there protecting me. Even when I knew it was you who needed the protection. I knew, Shawn, I knew what that man and woman were doing to you. I should have said something, anything to stop it from happening but I didn't. I couldn't, I was too scared to. But when that man, that dirty man, raped me you were there for me. You were there to hear me out, to hold me and tell me what a good friend I was. When you finally come out to me I screamed at you, I degraded you and told you I never wanted to see you again. That you disgusted me and that I hated you.”

“And yet it was you who was there for me in Mexico. It was you who helped me get off the drugs they had pumped me full of. It was you who helped me get back home and got my life back from the brink. It was always you who turned up when I needed... I don't know. I guess, when I needed something, some change in my life. No matter what we did, I always felt...I felt complete. Now I would give anything to be the one who could take your place today. Part of me will die with you here today. I just hoped that... that you could have met Jules. She was a cop who was trying to find you. Thanks to you, I got to met her and we're now getting married. I just wished that you could be there as my best man. I’m so sorry, Shawn, I really am. God how I wish today had never come.

"Gus...?"

Gus turned to see Henry standing in the door way and next to him stood Detective Lassiter. He looked...Gus was not sure what he looked like. It was like a combination of fear and confusion. Gus stood up from the chair.

"Gus, if you’re finished, Lassiter wanted to know if he could have some time with Shawn."

Gus was well aware that the detective had been coming to see Shawn ever since he had gotten out of hospital. Gus could never work out why. Why would he come, nearly every day to see a man he only knew for a couple of hours? Nodding at them Gus left the room. Henry turned to Lassiter.

"You’re the last to see him by yourself. His mother has sent her apologies, but as usual can't make it and Karen said that she didn't know him well enough to justify a private visit. We'll all be in the waiting room when you've finished; just come and get us."

"Thank you, Mr. Spencer, I will."

And with that Henry walked back down the hall.


	22. Lassie Confesses and it is Good-bye, Shawn.

Lassiter watched Henry retreat into the waiting room, before fully entering Shawn’s room. He stood at the end of the bed, just staring at the sight before him. It was the same thing he saw every other time he had visited over the last year, tubes and wires. The tubes and wires that kept this man alive and in a short time will be disconnected and they will watch his life slip away.

“Shawn, I only remember meeting you three times. The first time was very quick and ended in a lot of action. We ended up arresting the two would be robbers and you just disappeared. But goddamn it, Shawn, the impression and effect you had on me. Here you were, a man who knew the law and as far as I could see, for all propose was involved with the crooks and you had realised that the place was full of cops and you decided to hand over the others to save yourself. But they knew nothing of you.”

But your image was burned into my mind and I knew I had to find you. But what threw me the most was what your image was doing to me, every time it entered my mind. My heart started to beat quicker and my hand's became sweaty. Not to mention, what it was doing to the lower parts of my body. I knew what was happening to me and trust me, I was not happy. The last person I felt that way for was now in the process of divorcing me. And the last man I was attracted to killed himself after he was revealed to be gay. So no, Shawn, I’m not happy with what was going on.

The next glimpses I got of you, was just that, a glimpse. You were sitting with a black man and an ex cop in the cafe. As I approached, I could hear you arguing with the ex cop. I could hear you calling him dad and that your life up to that point was not an easy one. Then you made a comment that got the entire cafe in an uproar. Then I lost you, your dad and the other person. Running outside I could see your dad getting into his car so I ran over to stop him.”

Lassiter shook his head as he remembered that conversation. 

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes Detective. Can I help you?"

"How did you know I was a Detective?"

"Your badge is showing. Now what can I help you with?"

"The gentleman that was with you, I think he called you dad. What's his name and where could I find him?"

"His name is Shawn, Shawn Spencer and I don't know where he lives."

At the mention of Shawn's name Lassiter remembered that the station was looking for a man by that name. Something about ringing in tips to the police that seemed that it could have only come from someone on the inside.

"He is your son?"

"If you want to call him that, what has Shawn done now?"

"I just wanted to question him over a few phone calls he has made to the station lately."

"Let me guess. Shawn had phoned in tips about crimes and you think he might have been involved in them, right!

"Yes that’s right. How did you know that?"

"Because, that is about all Shawn has been doing all of his life! Instead of becoming a cop he just sits in a chair, watches the news and still solves crimes. Trust me he is not involved. Now if there isn't anything else, I’ll be on my way. Good day." With that Henry shut his door and drove off.

“After your dad had gone I turn around to see where else you could have gone to. I noticed a man standing beside the cafe, so I walked over and asked if he had seen you. He said yes and said that you had gone through the bushes behind the cafe. I felt something was off with him, but I was so obsessed on finding you, I dismissed the feeling; bad idea. The next thing I knew was something hard hitting my head, then the blows keep coming and someone saying ‘Shawn is mine’. I still didn't registered he was talking about you.

Then he turned up at the hospital. He showed me some picture's of my soon to be ex, saying that if I didn't go with him, the next time he looked at her it would be through the sight of a rifle. So I went. I guess from what I been told about your relationship with him you could guess what he did to me.

Then the next thing I know, he's throwing you down the stairs at me. When I realised it was you my heart nearly stopped. Knowing what he did to me, I guessed he'd done the same to you, only twice as bad. Then when you woke up, you were so apologetic to me. You keep blaming yourself for him taking me, because you had made a comment about liking me to your friend Gus. I couldn't calm you. Then our lips accidentally made contact. I was seeing stars and I’d swear that my heart really had stopped. If he hadn't come in at that moment, I would have grabbed you and pulled you into a hug and kissed you harder. Instead he came in and all hell broke loose.

I know you were only trying to help us get away, but it didn't work. I got shot and then, when we did think we were going to get out, you threw yourself at him to save me. I'm the cop Spencer. I’m supposed to save you, not the other way around.

Now today you're going to lose your life while he is still out there, somewhere. It just not fair! What I really wanted to say to you, without any one else to hear was... thank you. Thank you for saving my life. I just wish I could say to you, that I love you and that you could say it back to me. Good bye, Shawn Spencer.”

Lassiter looked at the clock, it was time. He left the room and went down the hall to where everyone else was waiting. In the room were Henry, Gus, O’Hara, McNab and the Chief. 

Henry looked up as he entered. "You're finished then."

"Yes."

"Well let’s get it over and done with."

As everyone else walked backed to the room, Henry went to the nurse’s desk and asked if they could call the doctor for him. The nurse gave Henry a sad, knowing smile and nodded.

"The doctor will be there soon and, Mr. Spencer, I’m sorry for...."

"Thank you! Thank you, all for looking after Shawn for me all this time." Henry looked at all the nurses that were there, as he said this. He then nodded and returned to the room. 

The doctor arrived about five minutes later. "Mr. Spencer, I wish I was seeing you today under different circumstances." As he said this he looked at the rest of the people gathered there. "Ok! If everyone has said their goodbyes, then we will begin."

The doctor first turned off the drip and removed it from Shawn’s arm, he then removed all the wires but one; the one that was connected to the heart monitor. Looking over at the faces, looking back at him he could not but feel sorry for them.

"Right, I’m now going to disconnect the breathing tube. I know that this may seem heartless, but Shawn's heart could keep on beating for up to half an hour after this. But trust me he isn't in any pain and he shouldn’t be able to breathe on his own. Is there any questions?"

"Yes," Lassiter said "why did you keep..."

"Why did I keep the heart monitor hooked up, so we can hear when his heart does stops, to know what time to call his time of death? Sorry if this seems a bit cruel."

"It's alright, can we get it over with please," Henry barked

The doctor nodded and proceeded to remove the tube. At first there was nothing but the steady beep of the monitor, and then Shawn's whole body seemed to rise, as it sounded like he was trying to breathe. Then it happened again, then a third time. This time the doctor had moved over to Shawn's bedside and pressed the call button. Nurses seemed to come from all sides. Some went up to the doctor and Shawn; the others were pushing the gang out the door. Then it closed in front of them. Standing there in shock and confusion, they just looked at each other. Suddenly the doctor walked out the door with a smile on his face.

"This is one of those days I am always looking forward too. Mr. Spencer, I’m not giving you a definite prognosis that he’s going to be ok, but I suggest that you postpone your son's funeral for now."

"What?"

"Shawn is breathing on his own and is very much still alive, just in a comatose state. Past experience has see people who have done this before are usually awake in a few days." The doctor returned to Shawn’s room, as the information starts to sink in.

"Shawn is still alive and with us," was Gus' response.

"There might still be a chance to tell him how I feel," Lassiter whispered to himself.

"That would just be like Shawn. Put us all through this and then come out of it with only a few scratches. Damn you, Shawn." After Henry finished they all walked back to the waiting room, to wait to see if there was anything else the doctor could tell them. 

No one though, noticed a figure, lurking in a darkened hallway, watching them leave. An evil smile formed on Conner's face.

"Gotcha, Shawn."


	23. Shawn is Missing.

A few days later Shawn was awake, at lease most of the time. They had all noticed it, they'd be talking to him and when they looked over he would be asleep. This went on for about another four days before Shawn could really stay awake for long periods at a time. The doctor kept checking in on him and had started Shawn on an exercise routine to rebuild his strength. In all, it was slow, long and for Shawn, very painful.

His visitors were mainly Henry and Gus. Once or twice his mum made the effort to come and see him and that was only because she was in town for work. Jules sometimes went with Gus, but she felt like she was intruding. That was, until Shawn got her involved, with one of his exercises. He also impressed her with what he could divine from her presence there. The police commissioner visited a couple of times as well. He had informed Shawn, who had been told what his job was and that if he wanted to continue, his cover had not been blown. Shawn just needed to tell him what he wanted to do, but first he needed to get better.

Over the next six months Shawn concentrated on getting better. He was not sure whether he wanted to return to work or not. But he knew what he needed to do; he needed to talk to one Detective Carlton Lassiter. Lassiter didn't visit, or at least not officially. Shawn had caught a glimpse of who he thought was Lassiter, a few times as he woke up over the last six months. He can also remember hearing Lassiter telling him that he loved him, but he was not sure if it was just dreams or not. He prayed it wasn't. He knew he had fallen for this hansom Irishman, as soon as he had seen his picture in his personnel folder. But he also knew that Lassiter had been married. He had an affair with his ex partner, so the chance of him liking him like that, especially after what had happened with Conner, was very slim.

Shawn was getting released into his dad's care the next day and he was determined to go and speak to Lassiter no matter what. Because he was thinking about what he was going to say, he did not take notice of the male nurse that had entered the room. It was not until after he felt the pain in his arm that he realised that said nurse was giving him a needle.

"What the f..."

As he looked up at the person who gave him the shot, the drug took effect and as he started to black out he saw the face that made his blood run cold.

"Conner.”

"It's alright, my love, soon we'll be together and no one will come between us again." Conner lifted the unconscious Shawn into a wheelchair and just walked out of the hospital and into the night.

The next morning Henry walked in and just sat down. He knew that Shawn had one more appointment with physiotherapy before he could take him home. While he sat there the kitchen staff came in to get the breakfast tray.

"Not again."

"Sorry?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. I was just saying that, again, he did not eat his food."

"Shawn isn't eating his breakfast?"

"Didn’t eat dinner last night and breakfast today."

"Did you see him last night to ask him why?"

"No he wasn't in his bed last night and come to think of it, he wasn't here this morning either."

This information ran through Henry's blood like ice. Standing, he left the room only to stop and thank the lady as he exited. Walking up to the nurse’s counter, he prayed that they would say Shawn was at his appointment.

"Hello, sir, how may I help you?"

"Hi. I'm...I'm looking for Shawn Spencer, room 220 on this floor; he's not in his room."

"Just one moment, please." As the nurse typed away on her computer Henry looked around nervously.

"He was supposed to have an appointment at eight this morning with Dr Bennett. But the doctor had to cancel it and Mr. Spencer was to go home this morning." 

"I know that, I’m here to pick him up." Henry knew he was snapping at the young nurse, but he was worried.

"When was the last time Shawn was seen, please?"

"The last report was done about four yesterday afternoon. No other information has been entered since then. But I’m sure someone must have seen him since then. I’ll go and ask around and see if I can find the nurse who saw him last."

"Can I help you, Mr. Spencer?"

Henry turned around and saw the doctor approached him.

"Yes, you can tell me where my son is."

"Shawn? In his room isn't he or with Dr. Bennett?"

"No, and Dr Bennett cancelled this morning. According to the nurse here, the last time anything was put into his file was four yesterday afternoon and the kitchen staff said Shawn didn't eat dinner last night or breakfast today. So doctor, where could he be?"

"I’ll get security and the staff to have a look for him; he could just be in the bathroom or out in the garden. Don’t worry Mr. Spencer, he’s somewhere here and we will find him."

Henry went back to Shawn's room to wait. He slowly went over the room and found a needle on the floor. He heard a noise and saw the cleaning lady entering.

"Sorry, but can you do this room a little later please."

She looked at Henry, shrugged her shoulders and left.

Half an hour later the doctor entered the room. He did not have to say anything; the look on his face said it all. Henry took his phone from his pocket and dialled.

"Good morning, Santa Barbara Police Department, Officer McNab speaking. How may I help you?"

"McNab, its Henry Spencer here!"

"Hello, Mr, Spencer, how is Shawn?"

"I don't know McNab, he’s missing and I think it’s foul play."

"How is that, sir?"

"Shawn's gone and there's a used needle on the floor of his room, can the Chief send someone over please."

McNab could hear Henry trying to hold back the emotions that wanted to come out.

"Sure, I’ll let her know now. Oh, and Mr. Spencer, don't worry, we'll find him."

With that Buzz hung up. Henry turned the doctor around and closed the door behind them. Back at the station Buzz quickly made his way the Chief’s office. He knocked, but didn't wait for an answer; instead he quickly entered.

"This better be good, McNab."

Buzz looked at the occupants in the office. First at O'Hara, then Lassiter then back to the Chief; he swallowed hard.

"Mr.... Mr. Spencer just rang up, Shawn is missing and there’s a used needle on the floor of his room. He wanted to know if you'd send someone over there."

Wide-eyed surprise showed on all three faces.

"Lassiter, O’Hara, go!"

And without another word they left the room. As they walked through the bull pen, they only stopped to grab their guns. Lassiter shouted to the bullpen in general. 

"Shawn Spencer is missing; get the call out on him right now. McNab and O’Hara, you’re with me. Everybody, move it. NOW!"


	24. The Search Starts and a Clue is Found

Arriving at the hospital they went straight to Shawn’s room. Lassiter knew that Henry would have sealed it off to preserve the scene, and he was right; Henry was leaning up against the wall near the door stopping anyone from entering.

"So, Mr. Spencer, what have we got?"

"The last time anyone saw Shawn was around four yesterday afternoon and I can't find anyone else who has seen him since. When I arrived this morning to pick him up, I just thought he was at his last appointment, but they had to cancel and when the kitchen staff mentioned that Shawn hadn't eaten breakfast or dinner last night I got worried. There is also a used needle on the floor near his bed. Sorry about this Lassiter, but that nuttier Conner, is still out there, somewhere and...”

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Spencer. I would have done the same thing. Right, security Officer Stanky, stand there until the crime guys can get here. No one gets in until they do, understand?"

"Yes sir."

"McNab, you're with me and O’Hara, go and see if there is any footage for that camera up there."

"Ok, be back in a minute. Oh do you want me to run through it?"

"YES, as far back as, say, two yesterday afternoon."

"OK, Henry, we'll take it from here. Why don't you go to the waiting room and call Guster and see if he’s heard from Shawn."

"Just a minute, I want to help as well."

"You have a personal involvement, Henry."

"So do you, Detective."

"Yes, I do, Henry. So, I’ll do everything to find him, won't I, and ringing Guster is helping."

"Ok, but you find him; otherwise he'll never know how you truly feel about him."

"I will, don't worry about that; now please let me do my job." With that Lassiter walked away. He shook his head at the memory of Henry walking in and catching him talking to a sleeping Shawn, telling him how much he love him. The bigger surprise was the fact that Henry did not hit him but just asked him to hold off telling Shawn until after they had taken him home. Given Lassiter the glimmer of hope that maybe Shawn liked him too and that Henry knew it and was giving him permission to be with Shawn.

The next two hours went by quickly. O’Hara found the tapes with Conner wheeling Shawn out around about five. He even turned to the camera, said something and smiled. After getting a lip reader in, they found out Conner had said, 'he's mine now and you'll never see him again'. From the cameras throughout the hospital, they pieced together the kidnapping.

First he entered Shawn's room, and then apparently injected Shawn with some kind of drug; they were still waiting for the test results to come back on the needle. He then put Shawn into a wheelchair and pushed him out of the hospital. Conner had then put Shawn into a dark blue, maybe black, sedan with no number plates and just drove away. As they sat there watching the car leave, for about the fourth time, McNab came rushing in.

"The car belongs to a Mr. Ted Stirling of 14 New Street. It has not been reported stolen."

Everyone just stared at him

"How do you know that, McNab?" Lassiter asked.

"Well I spoke to the car parking attendant, he noticed a car with no number plates and took the VIN number. So, I ran that through the system and that is what it gave me."

"Well, why are we just sitting here, let’s move it, and McNab, well done."

"Thank you, Detective Lassiter."

With that they all moved out hoping with all hope this was not a dead end.


	25. Shawn is Found

When they arrived at the house it looked just like all the other houses in the street. It was a low set brick place with a front door, dead centre, and windows to the side of it. The roof was coved by red coloured tiles. But a closer inspection told a whole different story. You could see the front door wasn't made of wood, but most likely steel. And the windows were covered by hard security mesh. While trying to think of a way to get in, McNab noticed the car out front. It had its number plates, but there was no mistaking that it was the same car that took Shawn. In its window was a for sale sign.

"I could get them to open the door," Gus said.

"What! How can you do that?"

"I just ring up, say I'm interested in the car and arrange a meeting."

Lassiter thought this through and Guster was right, he could do this.

"I’ll let you do this, but everything has to be done by the book."

Gus took out his phone and called the number on the car window.

"Hello, is this the owner of a black sedan parked outside 14 New Street?"

“Yes, I am. I'm selling it for $500."

"Good, my name is Mr Burton Guster, I’m a pharmaceutical rep and my car has just broken down this morning and I’m looking for a replacement. I saw your car out front this morning as I walked by. I wonder if I could come and have a look at it."

"Yes, is two this afternoon ok?"

"That’s fine, see you then." 

"I have a meeting with the owner at two and he's selling it cheap, only $500."

"Yeah, he needs to get rid of it really fast. The faster, the better for him," Lassiter whispered.

Two o’clock came around quickly and by then they had a plan in place. Gus would knock on the door and get the owner to walk to the car with him. While he was distracted they would just go into the house as long as he left the door open. Otherwise, they’d just show the search warrant and get him to open it up. They also expanded the warrant to included guns and drugs as well, that way if Shawn wasn't there they had a reason to arrest the occupants for questioning.

It was a tense moment as Gus walked up the path, but thankful they put a wire on him so they could hear everything that was being said. Gus knocked on the door and a small man answered. He was only half Gus' size and was also on the lumpish side.

“Yes?”

“Good afternoon, my name is Burton Guster. I'm here about the car.”

“Oh yes, that's right. Just a second, I'll grab the keys.” As they opened the door of the car Gus tried to make sure they were facing away from the house.

“So where are you from?”

“Oh, I'm from Santa Barbara, but I travel a lot with my job and I really need a reliable car. So, it seems to be a fairly new car, what's wrong with it?”

“Nothing really, I just can't afford two cars any more. My other half has the other one right now.”

“Ok,” Gus said pretending interest in the sedan. “Does it run good?”

“Yes, real good.” Just then he caught a movement in the corner of his eye. He turned around just in time to see the cops entering the house. At the same time Gus bolted for the nearby van that had been put there for his escape. 

The man took no notice of Gus; he just ran for the door, but he was too late. McNab and a few other officers stopped him short. They gave him the search warrant. He stared at it for a moment, and then started to scream at them about abusing their powers and repressing the common man.

The search was done and over in about fifteen minutes. They found drugs and a stash of guns, but no Shawn. Just as they were about to leave, a car drove up, stopped and started to reverse. But McNab put a road block in his way. All the offices rushed up, guns pulled and aimed at the vehicle!

“Conner, get out of the vehicle. NOW!”

When Conner saw that they had the other man in custody, he slowly got out of the car.

“Lay face down on the ground, hands behind your head.”

As soon as Conner had done this, he had at least five officers on top of him and putting him into hand cuffs. As soon as he was back on his feet Lassiter walked over to him.

“Where is Spencer?”

“What, you didn't find him?” As soon as the words left Conner's mouth, he realised he had said the wrong thing.

“Spencer is still in the house somewhere. Go back in and search again. You four,” he said, pointing to the officers, “escort our guest back to the station and don't let him out of your sight.” Lassiter then walked back over to the other man. He pulled out a photo of Shawn and showed it to him. “That creep has this man somewhere in this house, where?”

“Don't kn...”

“Don't you even think it. If he dies, you're up for murder. If you don't tell us where he is, I'm going to tell Conner that you did tell us where he was and then leave you two together in a cell. No guards, understand?”

The short man looked scared at this threat.

“Yes, I understand. He’s in the upstairs bedroom facing this way on the right there! The bed has a false bottom. It's like a drawer, just pull it out.”

Lassiter could not get up there quick enough. Bursting into the room he found the 'drawer'. He pulled it out and nearly fainted from shock at what he saw. Lying there, gagged and bound, was a wide awake Spencer looking straight at him. There were fresh bruises all over his body and Shawn was naked.

“Get the EMT's up here, NOW!” Lassiter called out. He bent down and started to undo the ropes. “It’s ok, Shawn, we've got you. You're safe now,” Lassiter keep repeating.

After he removed the gag and ropes, Shawn continued to lie there. He said nothing, just staring at Lassiter. 

Then the EMT's soon arrived and Shawn was taken to the hospital.


	26. Shawn Confesses to His Dad.

Henry sat at Shawn’s bedside once again. He could not help but think how funny it was, that over the last 18 months, all that he’s done is sit on a chair watching over Shawn. He let out a little chuckle at this and was surprise to here a voice in the quiet room.

“What's so funny, Dad?”

Henry looked up and stared straight into his son's eyes. He could still see the spark that had always been there, but it was dull, covered by the hurt and pain.

“Shawn, you're awake!”

“Well that's evident, Dad. I am talking.”

“Shawn! Please.”

“Hey, come on, Dad, it is going to be ok. I'm fine, see.” To prove his point, Shawn went to get up. 

“Shawn, lay back down.” Henry got up and gently pushed Shawn back down onto the bed. “Shawn...”

“Dad...?”

“Shawn, when you first came back, you said a few things...about what happened to you out there? Now I know a few things that the police commissioner told me. Like the fact that you’re a cop, a Chief Superintendent no less. And that Conner was your husband and that you two had a child and...”

“Dad, please don't! Look, if you really want to know, fine I'll tell you. But do you really want to know?” 

“Yes, Shawn, I do want to know.”

“Ok, Dad, where do you want me to start?”

“Well, how about when you were a kid.”

“Fine, Dad.” Shawn took a deep breath, closed his eyes and started to relive all the bad, and good, things that had happened to him. “When Mum first left, you left me with Mr. Striker while you worked. That was really the first time something happened to me. At first it was just him and me watching adult movies, then they moved on to porn, then gay porn. I realise now, that even then, I knew I was gay. I was really interested in those movies more than the ‘normal’ ones. Then he started to touch me and, well, he made me feel, that I was wanted, loved, special to someone. 

Then, just after I met Gus, it became physical. What made me feel sick wasn't what he was doing to me, it was the fact I knew it was wrong, but I wanted it and liked what he was doing. When I was thirteen, do you remember I went missing for about a week?” 

Shawn opened his eyes and looked at his dad who nodded at him, to acknowledge that he did, if fact remember that week. Shawn laid his head back down and closed his eyes again.

“Well, I was with him. The first day was just like all the other times. But that night his sister turned up and well...he started to hurt me, badly and it seemed to turn her on. At first she just watched, and then she joined in, just kissing and touching me. Then she forced me to have sex with her; both oral, anal and normal. After the week was up she just left, he went back to the way he was before she showed up, all nice and gentle with me and he keep apologising to me and making love to me. Then he let me come home. I didn't see him again until that night you arrested me and put me in that cell with him.”

“Did he touch you that night?”

“Yes and no, we talked and kissed, but that is all. I had missed him and I told him I forgave him for what he did to me when his sister was there. He cried and we held each other.”

“I'm sorry, Shawn. I am so sorry I didn't realise what was happening to you,”

“It's ok, Dad. I don't blame you or Mum; as a matter of fact I don't blame anyone. Not for the first time and not for any of the other things that happened to me. In fact, Dad, I believe they happened for a reason, and nothing I did would have changed them.”

“I now understand why you trained me like you did. And I’m grateful to you for it, I really am. In fact if it wasn't what you taught me, I would have been dead years ago.”

“Thank you for that, Shawn.”

“Anyway...the next bad thing to happen didn’t actually happen to me, it was Gus who got hurt. I was trying to get across to you I was gay. That’s why I brought that boy home with me. But I wasn't expecting you to throw him out like you did. Man, you and I had a big fight that night. When I left, I went looking for him to apologise. I found him and thought I’d pay you back by staying with him for a few days. I had ducked out to buy a few things, when Gus came around looking for me. When I came back and saw him raping Gus, I just lost it. I attacked him with all the force I had. When Gus and I left he was laying on the floor bleeding. That night I realised I was in love with Gus, but I could never tell him after what had just happened. So I just supported him the best I could. I know I still love him and sometimes wish things could have happened differently between us. But I would never change anything we have now.”

“I thought there was something more than just friendship between you two. It explains why you two have stayed friends for so long.”

“Thanks.” Shawn said rolling his eyes. “Anyway, then you went and arrest me. I accidentally blurted out about me being gay to Gus and he hit me, and yelled at me saying that I was diseased and that he hated me. And that he never wanted to see me again, so I left. I spent the first year selling my body to anyone who wanted it, just to make ends meet. Then I ran into Conner again. He had just started going through the police academy and I thought, what the hell. I applied and they had a special test for cop’s kids that allow us to jump certain training depending on our scores. Well thanks to you, with the way you trained me and my memory I graduated in two weeks. I had trouble handling a desk job and Harvey... I mean Police Commissioner Masters, well; he saw the potential in me and gave me the job I have now.”

“And from what he told me, you are the best.”

“I don't know about the best, but I have a group of officers I can call on if I need it. And I don't have to stay in one place too long. The only real regret I have is that I’ve just about lived all my life undercover. When I came here, I was given this assignment, because it was suppose to have been an easy one. I was still on light duty, because I was still getting over the death of Misty and what Conner had done. Did my boss tell you that Conner had held me hostage for two weeks before I was rescued?”

“No, he didn’t, Shawn.”

‘He had raped me several times and kept telling me he wanted me to have another child for him. I just couldn't, I ran instead. In my mind, I ran back to Mr. Striker thinking it was him touching me, having...” 

“It's ok Shawn, you don't need to....”

“No, Dad, I do need to do this. I'm sorry, I said, what I said that day, but maybe it was a way my mind was trying to tell me I need to talk about what had happened to me. You know, Dad, the only reason I didn't turn to drugs, was because it would have killed me straight out, with the missing enzyme, any drug, even a simple pain killer will kill me.”

“I had no idea you were that bad, Shawn. Why didn't you tell me before?”

“I didn't even tell Gus. I figured I was weird enough as it was with my memory, why add something else to the weirdness of Shawn Spencer. Did they tell you what he did to me this time?”

“No, at least, not all of it anyway. Why?”

“Because Dad, even though he raped and beat me, I didn't care. I knew that I was going to be found. And I knew it was going to be Lassiter who would find me and it was him. I'm in love with him, Dad, and I’ve got it bad.”

“I know, Shawn, and he's in love with you too. I asked him to hold off telling you, until you were home but Conner got in the way.”

“He is?”

“Yes, Shawn, he is and if you want to be with him, I’m ok with it. In fact, Shawn, he's outside now, waiting to find out how you are. You want me to send him in?”

“Thanks, Dad. Dad, before you go, are you going to be ok. I mean mum hasn't been in your life for a while now and...”

“Shawn, I'm dating someone, ok, and it's thanks to you.”

“Who...?”

“Karen Vick.”

“Chief Vick, but isn't she married?”

“Her husband was killed a couple of weeks after you went into the coma. I was supporting her in her grief and she was helping me with mine. Even Gus has found love with Lassiter's partner Juliet O'Hara. Anyway, I’ll go and let Lassiter come in and see you. I have a feeling you two have a few thing to talk about. See you later, Shawn.”

“Bye, Dad.” Shawn watched his dad leaves and for the first time in a long time he felt at ease. It only lasted a moment, as he tensed up when the door to his room slowly opened.


	27. Working Things Out

The door slowly opened and Lassiter walked in, a bit hesitant. At first he just stood there looking at Shawn and in turn, Shawn just stared at him. 

“Close the door, please,” Shawn whispered

Lassiter didn't move at first and then he turned around and closed the door. But he did not turn back to Shawn; instead he kept his hand on the door knob. He didn't want Shawn to see the fear he knew was in his eyes. What was he afraid of, he asked himself. Well, that was easy, he was afraid of Shawn. He was afraid of the feelings he had for him and that Shawn, did not feel the same way about him. Lassiter thought about himself, about his life. It hadn't been an easy one, not a hard life like Shawn's had been, but a hard one, just the same. 

He had been raised by a very religious mother and nothing he ever did was right. His dad left when he was ten, though he was hardly ever there even before that. Then when he finally escaped his mother by going into the police academy, he met the man he wanted to spend his life with. They were happy together, until one of the other officers found out that this man was gay. The man he loved was forced out of the academy and he couldn’t handle it. Sometimes in Lassiter's dreams he can still see himself walking into that room and finding him again, swinging from the ceiling beam. 

From that day on he swore he would never let anyone in. He married a woman who he knew did not love him. Their marriage was only for show. To stay in her father’s will, she had to be married by twenty five and he married her to get a promotion. So when they decide that it was time to get the divorce, he played the husband who didn't want it well. But his life had left him a sad, lonely, twisted, sour man, who had no friends by choice. So why the hell was he now allowing himself to feel this way about a man he hardly knows?

“That must be an interesting door.” 

Shawn's words broke his train of thought. “Sorry?” Lassiter whispered.

“Sorry, for what, Lassiter?”

“I'm...I'm just sorry. I can't do this.” Without turning around Lassiter went to open the door.

“What, no. Where are you going?” In his attempt to stop Lassiter, Shawn tried to get out of bed. Hearing the noise behind him Lassiter turned around just to see Shawn starting to fall. Rushing to his side, Lassiter just made it in time and pushed Shawn back onto the bed. He could see the pain in Shawn's face, so he reached across to call a nurse. Shawn grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Don't please, just don't!” Shawn gasped. 

“You're in pain; you need a nurse to give you some pain killers.”

“No I don't. If I have any pain killers it will kill me, literally, and I thought you liked me.”

“I do. I mean...” Lassiter was flustered and could feel the tips of his ears starting to burn. “Sorry, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am now. Why were you going to leave?”

“I...I...I just can't do this.”

“Do this? What is this?”

“I don't know. I really don't even know what I'm doing here.”

“Ok, look at me. I'm a psychic, so let me see if I can sense something from you and we'll go from there.”

Lassiter screwed up his face in disbelief and just stared straight at Shawn's face. “You're a what?” he growled.

“I'm a psychic. I get hired by the police commissioner all the time and if you don't believe me, ask your chief. She has spoken to commissioner Master and he has confirmed it.”

“I can't believe this.” Lassiter shook his head. “I can't believe it, you're a con artist.”

“I beg your pardon. I am not a con artist. I am a psychic and to prove it, I can tell you that, even tho you did not marry for the money, you did not marry for love either. In fact, I sense that the large amount of money that was deposited into your bank account was not put there for criminal reasons.”

“What money? Oh...that money. No it wasn't, it was given to me by my ex father-in-law so I would leave his daughter alone. I didn't want it, so I spent it on trying to win her back.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Yes you are. You used that money to make people think you wanted your wife back. But you did not marry for love. You and your ex were in a loveless marriage.”

“You're right. I did do it for that reason. But I don't believe you're a psychic and I think I need to leave.” As Lassiter turned to leave, Shawn started to panic. He didn't want Lassiter to leave. For some reason Lassiter made him feel safe and he didn't wanted to lose that feeling. So thinking quickly he had to do something, but what?

“Wait you can't go!” 

“Why can’t I?”

'Think, Shawn, think.' “I need to tell you something, something really, really important.”

“What?”

“Please come here. I need to whisper it to you. It's something no one else can hear.”

Lassiter let out a sigh; he didn't really want to leave anyway. He had started to like the feeling that Shawn gave him. So he turned back around and walked over to Shawn and slightly leaned in.

“What do you want to tell me?”

Shawn's eyes wandered all over Lassiter's face, he noted the tired, worn out look in his expression. But when Lassiter looked him in the eyes, he saw what he wanted to see. Love, just simply love and that helped him make up his mind to take the chance.

“Lean a little closer, please.”

Lassiter obeyed. As he got closer he could smell a combination of the hospital and what must be Shawn. The sweet smell of pineapple and bleach made him wrinkle his nose. At the same time, Shawn was hit with the same sensation about Lassiter. His smell was a typically cops smell of gun powder and coffee, but Lassiter had a unique smell of ocean breeze aftershave. Now their eyes were locked into each other’s.

“Umm...Spencer, what did you want to say?”

“Just...Just, I love you.”

Then Shawn slid his free hand behind Lassiter's head and pulled him into a gentle kiss. He made this kiss a light and quick one, neither man having time to even close his eyes. As they pulled apart you could see them both assessing each other’s reaction. Lassiter was the one who made the next move.

“I love you too, Spencer.” With that he moved back in for another kiss, only this one had a lot more passion and force behind it. “What now?” Lassiter whispered when they broke apart

“I'm not sure. Let’s just see where this leads. I really don't like it when the spirits interfere with my love life, so they stay out of it. Otherwise I would have known about Conner.”

“You're not a real psychic, Spencer,” Lassiter said with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice. “And Conner is in custody, so don't worry about him anymore,” he continued in a more serious tone.

“We'll see, Lassie. We'll see.” And with that they kissed again. 

If either of them had noticed the door open slightly, neither showed it. They were too interested in exploring each other’s mouth with their tongues. Henry watched for a moment and then nodded at what he saw. He resisted the smile that wanted to form on his face and he left, closing the door behind him, to give them a little more privacy. He planned on only giving them five more minutes. After all they have the rest of their lives to get and know each other.


	28. The Psych Detective Agency is Born

Three weeks later, Shawn walked out of the hospital. Gus was waiting at the bottom of the stairs watching him. Although he walked a bit slower, Shawn was still walking with a spring in his step. The smile on Shawn's face was real, not the forced ones he often wore to hide the pain. Gus pushed himself off the car's bonnet and walked over to the passenger’s side and opened the door. Just as Shawn reached the car his phone rang. Looking at it as if it was something he had never seen before, he stared at the caller ID. Surprised at who it was, he carefully answered it. 

“Yes, Chief?”

“It's alright, Shawn. I'm just checking up on you.”

“Ok, did you get my request?”

“Yes I did. I have talked it over with Chief Vick and we have come up with an arrangement.”

“Oh.” Shawn's disappointment could be heard in his voice.

“Easy, Shawn, are you anywhere you can talk freely?”

“No. I've just walked out the hospital and I'm with my friend Gus. He's giving me a lift to my place.” Shawn looked at Gus, whom he could see had a concerned look on his face. Flashing Gus a smile he indicated that he wouldn't be long.

“Well, ring me when you're available and I’ll let you know what we have decided and if you agree to it I'll get the contract drawn up.”

“Ok, I'll ring on the work phone later. Bye.”

“Bye, Shawn and be careful.” With that both parties hung up. 

“Sorry, Gus, you know me, ever so popular, wanted by everyone.”

Gus just shook his head, closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. After he got in he turned towards Shawn, watching him.

“What?”

“Shawn, you know you don't need to lie to me anymore. I mean if...”

“Gus, I’m not leaving, not just yet anyway. The call I just got it's, it’s complicated.”

“I understand, Shawn; it's just feels like sometimes you don't trust me. That's all.”

“Gus, I trust you, I really do. I just don't want you to get hurt because of me and sometimes I just need my secrets, ok.”

“OK, Shawn. Now where do you live?”

“Ok, you know the old warehouse district.”

“Yes?”

“Well that's where I live.”

“You're joking, aren't you?”

“Nope.”

“Shawn, how can you afford to live there?”

“I have an arrangement with the owner. I look after the warehouse, instead of paying rent. It has a sweet little unit that I live in.”

“You are amazing, Shawn.”

“I know I am.” 

Shawn held out his fist and Gus bumped it. Then he drove off to take Shawn home. Once Shawn was settled and Gus was satisfied, he left making sure Shawn knew he would be back with dinner later on. 

After Gus left Shawn rang his boss. “Hi, Chief, it's me.”

“You sound tired, Shawn?”

“I am a bit. So what have you come up with?”

“I actually think you'll like it Shawn. I am going to transfer you over to the Santa Barbara Station and you will answer to Chief Vick from now on. I have already gone through all of your problems, including the fact you cannot work as a normal police officer. So we have come up with this. You are going to work with the police as a consultant, a psychic consultant. Occasionally, I am going to send you some of your usual work, even sometimes sending the officer there under the guise of filling in while someone else is on holiday.” He waited a moment then asked, “Well, what do you think?”

“That is amazing, Chief. Thank you, thank you so very much. I've already got the paper work, so starting up a private detective agency won’t be hard to do.”

“A private detective agency... Why?”

“Well it will make the psychic thing look more real.”

“Ok, Shawn, anything you want. Oh and the only people to know the truth about you are Chief Vick, your dad and me, ok. I'll send the contract to Chief Vick for you to sign. Keep in touch, Shawn, bye.”

“Don't worry, I'll keep in touch, you’re the best ex father-in-law I’ve ever had. Bye, boss.” With that Shawn hung up. A great big smile had formed onto his face. 

“PSYCH!” he yelled out aloud. “I'll call it ‘Psych’.” With that Shawn headed off to the bathroom to have a shower and get ready for when Gus came around with dinner.


	29. And So Psych Begins

One week later Shawn was driving Gus' car with a very nervous and blindfolded Gus in the passenger seat. 

“Shawn...! Where are you taking me to?”

“Relax, Gus, you're worrying too much. Anyway we'll be there soon.”

“It's the 'where we're going', I'm worried about Shawn and why do I need to wear this blindfold. I don't trust your driving when I can see where we are going, so of course I'm worried, when I can't see.”

“Gus, you're such a worrywart. Yes, here we are!”

“Finely, now I can take off this blindfold.”

“Hey...! Just slow down there, Gus! I need to get you out of the car and put you in the right place, before you can take off the blindfold.”

“Shawn?”

“What?”

“Shawn, how much is it going to cost me or hurt me?” 

“Gus, I'm hurt! Why do you always think that everything I do is going to put you out of pocket or is going to hurt you?”

“Oh, I don't know, Shawn! Maybe your track record speaks for itself.”

“What has any of this to do with me running around a race track? Come, Gus, out we go.”

“Shawn, I...oh don't worry about it.”

Shawn pushed and shoved Gus around until he stood right where Shawn wanted him to.

“Right, Gus. What was our biggest dream to be when we grew up?”

“I don't really remember, Shawn. I think you wanted to be the toy tester in a toy factory and I just wanted a job.”

“NO! We were going to be private detectives.”

'No we weren't, Shawn.”

“Yes, we were.”

“No we...”

“And now here it is.”

Shawn removed the blindfold which allowed Gus to see that he was standing in front of a shop window with bold black letters in full view.

PSYCH 

PSYCHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY

WE CAN ALREADY SEE YOUR PROBLEMS. 

“Shawn, what is this?”

“It's our dream, Gus. I'm the psychic detective and you're my side kick.”

“No, Shawn, no we’re not.” With that Gus turned around and headed back to the car. Just as his hand touched the handle, Shawn put his hand onto his shoulder and turned him around.

“Gus, what... Why not buddy?”

“One thing is, YOU’RE not a psychic and two, you'll never stick around long enough to give it a fair go.”

“Gus, I have two, no, three good reasons to stay. One is Lassie, we're really starting to get along and I really want to give this...this relationship a go. Two, there's you and dad and three I've already accepted a job as the psychic consultant for Chief Vick. This is just a bit of a sideline for when she doesn't need us.” 

“Really, Shawn, you've taken a job with the same people who will arrest you when they find out you're not a real psychic.”

“Yes and I just wanted to give you a job with me.”

“Shawn, I've already got a job.”

“What? Oh, that drug running thing? Gus, please. Oh and did I mention that you'll get to work with your wife?” 

“Work with Juliet? Really, Shawn, really...?”

“Yep and I get to work with Lassie.”

“Ok, you're on, but you have to do your fair share of the work. Ok?”

Just then Shawn's phone rang

“Good morning, Psych Detective Agency. Psychic Shawn Spencer speaking! I can already sense you need me.”

“---”

“Oh, good morning, Chief Vick and how can Gus and I help you today?”

“---”

“No, no that's fine, Chief. We’re on our way. Bye.” Shawn hung up the phone and with a wicked grin on his face he looked at Gus. “That was Chief Vick.”

“I already guessed that when you said her name, Shawn,” Gus said rolling his eyes. “What did she want?”

“Well, she wants us down at the station right now. She has a job for us.”

“Are you for real, Shawn?”

“For real, let’s go! Here Gus you can drive.” With that, Shawn tossed Gus the keys and climbed into the passenger seat. Gus got into the driver's side and started up the car, but didn't move off. Turning to Shawn he nodded his head toward the building.

“So how did you pay for that?”

“I know the owner and he couldn't rent it, so I made a deal with him. For low rent, I'll give him free services of my talent any time he needs it. And trust me, Gus, he's really paranoid.”

After they arrived at the station, they walked up to the front desk. Officer McNab was there and he smiled as they approached.

“Good morning, the Chief rang ahead and told me you were coming and to give you these.” He handed Shawn two police consultant badges. One, with Shawn’s name on it and the other had Gus'.

“Shawn, you got them to do up these badges before I even said yes. That's not fair.”

“But, Gus, I saw that you were going to say yes in one of my visions.” Shawn had a smile on his face when he said this and he had moved his right hand to his face, placing two fingers on his temple and his thumb onto his jaw.

“Shawn!” Gus snapped.

“Would you like to follow me, please?”

McNab lead both Shawn and Gus to the Chief's office. O'Hara and Lassiter were already inside, standing by the Chief’s desk, and Karen Vick was sitting behind her desk just staring at them.

“Please enter and take a seat.” She watched them as they entered and sat down. Meanwhile Lassiter and O'Hara kept looking at each other trying to work out what was going on.

“Detectives Lassiter and O’Hara, I would like you to meet our new police consultants, Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer and his assistant, Burton Guster. Yes, I know you two already know them and that you are also in a relationship with each other. A change of police policy allows partners to work with each other as LONG as it doesn't interfere with your work. Now, I have called them in to assist you with those armed robberies that have been happening.”

“But with due respect, Chief, I know I'm in a relationship with Spencer, but I do not believe he is a psychic.”

“Noted, Detective, is this going to cause problems with you two working together?”

“No,” Shawn and Lassiter said together.

“Good. Now, Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster, I am putting this as plain as I can. At work they are NOT your partners, they are work colleges. Detective Lassiter is the senior officer and he is in charge. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Chief, crystal clear.” Shawn said and Gus nodded his agreement.

“Fine, now get out there and do your jobs.” Just as they left the Chief’s phone rang. She waited until the door was closed before she answered it. 

Lassiter led the other three back to his desk to go over the case. While sitting there, Shawn watched the Chief as she talked on the phone. He could see it was upsetting her. When she looked up, she met Shawn’s eyes. He could see the great stress on her face. On hanging up the phone she walked to her door, stopping just outside it. Looking at Shawn again, she mouthed, 'I'm sorry'. Shawn tensed up; he already knew what was coming.

“Excuse me, everybody,” the Chief said. 

Everyone in the station stopped what they were doing and looked at their Chief.

“I have just gotten a call from the Commissioner, it appears that...” Her eyes wandered over to Shawn again.

“What Chief?” Lassiter asked.

But Chief Vick didn't get to finish the message. Shawn did.

“Conner Master has escaped again, hasn't he?”

“Yes, Mr. Spencer, he has and in his escape he killed four officers and three civilians, as well as wounding dozens on both sides. I'm sorry, Shawn.”

“Not your fault, Chief. But let him come after me, I'm ready this time.” Shawn turned back around to Lassiter's desk. “Now Lassie; lets solve this case!”

The End

Sequel is done and is called ‘The Allusion of Life and Death’.


End file.
